


The Arms of a Stranger

by JadeDraggy2017



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Suicide, M/M, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Thoughts of death, hurt/some comfort, shuakeshu big bang 2k18, some blood, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 11:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeDraggy2017/pseuds/JadeDraggy2017
Summary: Surviving the twisted game and living a ‘normal’ life wasn’t in Akechi’s original plan, but it's where he finds himself after the Phantom Thieves have saved the world. He’s run away from Tokyo, his crimes and his past and is content to live the rest of his life in a small town. A town that should be unremarkable, if not for Ren Amamiya, the young man working at the florist shop. A near perfect, golden-eyed doppelganger, of the one person Akechi wants to forget the most.He should stay away, he certainly shouldn’t become his friend, and he absolutely shouldn’t start a loving relationship with him that makes his new life feel perfect… At least if would be if the actual Akira Kurusu hadn’t shown up on his doorstep. Demanding he leave town with him. Now Akira won’t go away, and Ren is acting strange, the town is crawling with Shadows…And Akechi is starting to realize he never made it out of the game to being with.





	The Arms of a Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> This is the piece I wrote for the [ ShuakeshuBB](https://shuakeshubb.tumblr.com/)! If you've been reading Sumaru City this is why I haven't updated that piece in a while! Be sure to check out the BB tumblr to find the partnered art piece [Bee](https://whimsical-bumblebee.tumblr.com/post/174754330054/my-art-piece-for-the-shuakeshu-big-bang) did for this story! Its probably my favorite thing ever!
> 
> Follow me for insanity [here](https://adraggynamedjade.tumblr.com/)  
> 

 

 

This is a nightmare he can’t stop having. 

The sound of steam escaping steel pipes. The drip of water against rusted floors. Metal walls creaking and moaning as waves of a cognitive ocean smashed against them. The stomping of feet against metal grates and fist upon a foot-thick wall of steal.

 And his name. 

The muffled sound of his name at his back and the sight of his face. His reflection in front of him, distorted and eager to end this nightmare. 

And it should end. 

It all ends here. With the draw of their guns, and the firing of two shots. The moment of impact is clear. It’s the last moment of this nightmare. The sudden crack of what’s left of the black and red shielding over his head. The bits of tinted plastic fly away from him, catching the image of his reflection crumpling down faster than he, if only because it lacked a helmet. 

The shards catch everything as they fall. The Shadows dissolved bodies, the rusted metal around the room, the flood door at his back, his own somber expression and the impact. 

The final impact as the bullet finds its mark, and the shattered helmet pieces that bounce on the ground and reflect the fire back at him. 

Death should feel like fire, shouldn’t it? For hell is the only place he is going. 

But no matter how intense the fire, its not killing him. It is consuming him. Soul and body. And ripping out a scream from his lungs. One that only he hears. It comes up with the fire as his body goes down. And the bits of his helmet stop bouncing. And the fires of a blue hell wrap around his neck like a chain. 

And a someone touches the point of impact with the promise of an oath written in his own blood. 

And then there’s the muffled, choking sob of his name.  


Goro has had the same nightmare since he moved away from Tokyo. He knows exactly why he has it, but not a way to make it stop. A moment when his life should have ended, the ultimate atonement for the revenge driven crimes he committed. For every murder, for every rampage, and for his final betrayal, he should have died.

But he didn’t. 

Instead he was lying awake in bed, looking at the window of his bedroom. The room was narrow and kind of cramped- not that he minded. What he did mind was that every night when he woke up from his nightmare there was this awful faint beeping. Steady and rhythmic; if he focused on it too much he found it synced up to his breathing and his heart. It filtered in through the walls of his bedroom- they weren’t very thick after all the place was cheap- and the sound filled his ears. He only heard it when he was like this lying in bed, trying not to think about how he was alive. 

And then the beeping would filter in and time itself with his body’s functions as if to rub it in his face. 

The beeping belonged to his neighbor’s respirator or ventilator or whatever the stupid breathing machine was they used at night. The old lady next door wasn’t bad, per say. She constantly offered him stale cookies and spent most, if not all day, outside sweeping the ground. But she needed an oxygen machine and at night it was the only thing that made any noise after everyone had gone to bed. 

And thus it haunted him along with his nightmare. 

After resolving that he was going to have to live through today Goro forced himself up and out of bed. There was an hour before dawn, so he could get up, get showered and grab his bike before the old woman got up and pestered him on his way out. The only upside to his nightmares was that he was always the first up and out of the apartments. 

They weren’t great apartments. Ten units in a little two-story building. He knew of the old woman next door, there’s a young couple to the other side of him, and someone downstairs has a son that is consistently on the corner playing ball with no one. The walls are thin, the space narrow. His kitchen and front room are one big shared space, and his bathroom and bedroom are in the back. The bedroom has his only window. He keeps his bike next to his front door because there’s no place outside to lock it up. 

Outside the air is cool and light. It’s easy to breathe in this little country town. The sun’s light has only just started to infringe upon the night by the time Goro has taken his bike downstairs and set off for a ride through town. 

He’s been here a month and has already memorized all the important places and easiest routes about town. It’s quiet, and no one knows him. No one bothers him. It’s the perfect place to be forgotten. Or die. If he had remained in Tokyo he’d more than likely be on trail along with his father. Or worse, _they_ would do everything in their power to try to get the system to go easy on him. 

“Fools,” he grumbled at the open air as he rode through the streets. 

He had thought about turning himself in… But it seemed like the world had forgotten about him. Maybe it was for the best that he was dead to the public. He could just stay here and forget as he had been forgotten. 

Goro came to a stop at the start of a stretch of shops through the center of town. 

“To forget everything would be nice,” he whispered to the morning air. 

The sun was brightening up the world a bit more now, and he could see some other citizens out starting their own lives. Along the stretch of shops there was a café, and a bookstore, a boutique and then a flower shop. 

“To forget would be nice,” he repeated to himself as he started down the road. If he was going to live he needed to put the past behind him. Put Tokyo, prosecutors, phantom thieves, and talking cats behind him. To erase personas, and rampages, and hearts and palaces. 

Goro rode past the collection of shops as the owners started opening their doors and setting out signs. 

He took this route every morning telling himself he needed to forget. And every morning, as if on cue, the moment he passed the flower shop the door would open. And there he was. 

Like the nightmare, like the beeping, the boy in the flower shop haunted him. 

The figure opening the door with short curly black hair, glasses and a smile. A doppelganger down to his stance of a person Goro wanted to erase from his memory. The only distinction was the boy’s gold colored eyes. 

He raised his hand and waved as he passed. Goro didn’t wave. He barely glanced back as he rounded the corner to see the other watch him ride off. 

By the time lunch time rolled around, Goro was back at the stretch of shops. This time on foot. Perhaps it was out of habit form his old life style, but he had already eaten at every establishment in town, and memorized who had the best menus for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

Though no place served coffee like Leblanc. 

Still, the café on the strip was the best place for a light lunch. It was right across from the flower shop. He could sit at a table in the window and watch customers come in and out of the open door of the building. And sometimes if the lighting was just right he could see shop’s caretaker behind the counter working. 

He’d lived here a month and never entered the shop. But he often looked at it from a distance or in passing. If he stared long enough the clerk working behind the counter would eventually look his way. And smile. Even across the street and through the café window. 

As if he knew. 

Goro was never going to forget. 

When evening arrived he was back at the shops. This time at the bookstore. He needed something new to read, so he’d taken his bike and carried himself to the store before they closed. He had a TV, but he rarely watched it. Only checking updates about Shido’s trial, or the weather, and Featherman on Sundays. He had thirty minutes to find a book and get out and get home. To read himself to sleep and wake up from his nightmare to start the day over again. 

He combed the over packed shelves trying to find something to interest him. He pulled out old mysteries, found a few ancient Featherman light novels, and one book on flowers. It was fairly thin; there probably wasn’t much information in it. But he took it and added it too his stack as he started towards the counter. 

Goro just wanted to get his books and get out, but life was not so willing to let him escape. As he approached the counter he saw the back of the flower shopper worker, speaking to the woman behind the counter as he handed off a vase to her. He didn’t want to approach. He’d made it four weeks without ever properly talking to this young man and if he could help it, he was going to make it his entire life. 

“Are you ready to check out?” The woman called to him of course. 

“Yes,” Goro nodded to her as he walked up. He kept his gaze focused ahead as he slid the stack up onto the counter. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” 

“No need to worry,” the woman smiled at him as she started ringing up his purchases. “Amamiya-kun is just bringing me the flowers I ordered. He’s not a customer.” 

“I see,” Goro nodded, he still didn’t actually look at the person next to him. But now he had a name. 

“So,” the black haired boy spoke up, “When are you going to come into my shop? You’ve been in every one on the strip but mine.” 

“Ren!” The woman turned to hiss at him, “That’s rude.” She shook her head at him. 

Goro internally cursed. He even sounded like him. Perhaps a bit of a bit more cheerful tone in his voice, but it was close enough to make every nerve in his body tingle. 

“Sorry, Amamiya-san, was it?” Goro finally turned to face him. “I just have no need of flowers.” This was the first time he’d actually been this close to the boy. And god, he was an exact reflection of his biggest mistake. From the way his hair fell, to the way his lips curved up into a warm, but devious smile. 

At least he smelled of pollen and not coffee beans. 

“No need, but an interest,” he reached out and picked up the flower book form Goro’s stack. “I could tell you more than any book, if you’re curious.” 

“I-” Goro shook his head, “Was just looking for something to pass the time.” 

“Well, if you’re bored, feel free to come in and talk. Even if you don’t buy anything, I can teach you all you want to know about plants.” Ren continued to smile at him. The result in Goro’s chest was a strange, ill feeling. Like the warmth of nostalgia but coupled with an anxious urge to vomit. 

“No,” he shook his head, “I’m not- not interested in talking…” He looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. He never wanted to talk to this face again. 

“You’re all done, dear,” the woman behind the counter spoke up. She gave Goro his total and he paid and left in a hurry. As he got on his bike and pedaled off, he looked back to see Ren leave the book store and watch him leave. 

He decided for the next week he was not going to venture down the main strip.  


 

Goro stood outside the café he’d not eaten at for a week looking at the closed sign on the door. He’d never known it be closed in the middle of day. Yet, the door was locked, the lights were off, and no one was inside. 

He turned his back to the door and sighed. He’d just have to head somewhere else. 

At least it was another clear day, not that he could think of a single day the weather had been bad since he moved here. 

His eyes fell on the flower shop across the street and on Ren staring at him from the counter. Goro held his gaze for over a minute before taking a breath and convincing himself to cross the street. He stopped just inside the door and looked inside. 

There were shelves all around the tiny shop with potted plants and pre-arranged vases. From here he could see a door at the back of the shop leading out to a little greenhouse were the plants were grown and taken care of. 

“Are you going to come in?” The sound of Ren’s voice made his spine shiver. It was too close. He shouldn’t be here. 

“No,” Goro shook his head, “I was just wondering if you knew why the café across the street was closed.” 

“The owner’s daughter is getting married,” Ren leaned forward and let his chin rest in his palms, his fingers curled on his cheeks. “Don’t you know that?” 

“If I did, I wouldn’t have come over and asked. Thank you for the information.” Goro nodded, “I’ll be on my way.” 

“Wait!” Ren called to him, “I was asking about you to the other shop keepers… No one knows your name.” 

“So?” Goro shrugged. 

“Well, in this town, everyone knows the name of their regulars. But everyone says the same, you don’t talk much…” 

“I just, prefer to be a private person,” he frowned. 

“You’re from the city, right? Maybe its like that there, but here, people are more comfortable with each other.” Ren lowered one of his hands and let his arm lay across the counter. “Everyone knows everyone… So, feel free to share your name.” 

“Some other time perhaps,” Goro shook his head. “Right now, I’m just interested in getting lunch.” 

“You can eat with me,” Ren offered. “I can close up for an hour, and we could eat and chat.” 

Goro stood in the doorway, watching golden eyed young man. He was trying to be friends with him. To reach out and get to know him. To force his way through walls of thick steel. 

“No thank you,” he turned around and walked off. Whatever Ren had to say as he left was muffled by the sound of two gunshots in his ears.

  


This nightmare never ends, and he can’t be free. 

The metall. The Shadows. The reflection. The shot. The fire. 

The promise. 

This is a blood oath. A bond that will never be broken. Encased in a blue flame and two fingers to the side of his forehead a voice says his name. Say’s _its_ name. 

He got what he wanted. His wish had been carried out. He had changed. Shido was changed. Does the bond create this nightmare? The chain around his neck and wrist binding something to him. Binding them together. 

Binding _Akira’s_ memory to him. 

Keeping him alive when all he wanted was to die. 

He wanted to erase this moment and be free of this nightmare. 

But life was not so kind. 

When Goro woke up, the sun was high enough in the sky that light was shining in through his window. The first time he’d overslept since he moved. 

Next to him the incessant beeping of his neighbor’s machine was going steadily. 

He was rather surprised to hear it during the day, he figured the machine was only hooked up at night. 

He rolled out of bed and prepared for the day, leaving his bike behind. Outside he saw the usual residents. The old woman was sweeping the walkways around the apartments, steadily humming to herself. At the corner the little boy was bouncing his ball. The regular fixtures. 

The sun was high, and the sky was clear. The day was perfect. 

Goro didn’t go near the main street today, resolving that he was going to once again avoid it for a while. 

Possibly the rest of his life. 

There were plenty of places to go in town to waste his day, and places to eat- though he could just cook himself a meal at home. But his previous life style never afforded him the time to develop enough skill to cook a decent mean on his own. Actually, the last time he even came close to a home cooked meal was curry at Leblanc. 

There was a restaurant downtown that served curry, and though it paled in comparison, it would satisfy his craving for today. So, he took one of the books he purchased and made his way on foot to the restaurant. There was a patio area to sit outside and dine, allowing patrons to watch the street and admire a garden park across the way. 

Curry, no coffee, his book, and plenty of sunlight. It should have been the perfect afternoon, and could have been, if not for the arrival of florist halfway through his lunch. What’s worse is he hadn’t notice Ren at first, the other spotted him and caught him off guard. 

“So this is where you’ve run off to eat, stranger,” the sound of this voice made Goro’s heart skip a beat and short, loud, high pitch noise sounded in his ears. 

He set down his book and turned to see Ren standing off to the side of his table, just out of his line of sight. 

“Oh, good afternoon,” Goro mustered up his most passively friendly voice. “Sorry, I didn’t see you. I was absorbed in my book.” 

“That’s just fine,” Ren approached his table and looked over his plate, “You’re having the curry? You know it goes great with-” 

“I don’t want coffee.” The former detective prince cut him off. His words swift and curt, unwilling to hear the suggestion for fear of memory and want. 

Ren stood startled for a moment before speaking again, “I was going to suggest the Keemun tea… Not coffee.” Goro watched as the florist raised his hand and twisted his hair in thought. The gesture was too familiar for him to keep watching the other young man. “But now that you say it, that might be worth a shot… Are you eating alone?” 

“I prefer to eat alone.” Goro looked down at his book, attempting to resuming reading. 

“Hmn, always alone… Don’t you get lonely?” He heard Ren’s voice come closer, and his shadow fell over half the pages. 

“When you’re always alone, you’re not lonely. Solitude becomes the norm, its company that makes me uncomfortable.” 

“I see,” though he wasn’t watching Ren, he imagined his expression looked pained. He was trying. And Goro was having none of it. His shadow lingered, and the brunet felt his fingers grip the book tighter. If he looked up now he knew just what he’d see: Ren’s eyebrows knit close together, a slight twist down on the right side of his lips as he pressed them together, a slightly irritated but forlorn glare. An expression of a silent question asking him why was he so difficult when he was clearly here for help. A constant riddle Akira hurled his way that he didn’t have an answer for. 

And he didn’t have an answer for Ren either. 

Goro shut his book with a bit of excessive force and stood up. Ren backed away as he pulled out his wallet and left more than needed on the table. 

“Sorry. I just remembered something important I need to do.” 

“Right, forgive me. I’ll let you get to it,” Ren turned to leave, but exclaimed in surprise before turning back around. “That’s right, I wanted to give you this.” Goro watched as he pulled a neatly folded white parchment from his pocket. He extended it to Goro with both hands. 

“What is it?” 

“A welcoming gift… Though you’ve been here a while. Alone or not, you are part of our town. And I want you to know if ever you want company, I’m always available.” 

He hesitantly took it but didn’t open. Goro watched Ren walk off snorting a bit at his back. He was ready to throw whatever it was away, but curiosity had a better hold on him. So, he unwrapped the gift to reveal a purple flower. 

A wisteria.

 

 

How does one make a blood oath? How does one agree to such terms? 

Questioning the formation of such a bond makes the fire burn brighter. The blue flames stretch out for as far as he can see. 

Is it an oath formed in pain? Or pleasure? Sacrifice or acquiescence? Life or death? 

He craves death. That’s what he wished for. His death and the change of Shido’s heart. Aren’t their wishes one in the same? 

The fingers pressed to his forehead now are digging into his skull. The sound of his name being uttered between broken pleas has faded to the booming voice of promise to see his wish through to the end. 

A wish that can’t be spoken: there are no words to clarify it. No language for his tongue utter. No message his hands could ever write. Only a fire spreading out from his heart and the feeling that bond has been made. 

And when the fire dies down. The nightmare starts over. 

He hears is his name. 

He sees his reflection. 

He raises his gun. 

There are two shots.

  


Goro had acquired six flowers now. He should throw them away. Yet instead, he set them in order along the back of his desk. All in a line, up against the wall: the wisteria, a white pear blossom, a clovenip, a pansy, a lavender, and a purple ericaceae. He kept running into Ren everywhere, no matter how hard he tried to escape. And every time the shop keeper gave him a flower. 

He resolved Ren can’t get him so long as he stayed at home. Perhaps he’d stay home forever? He’d lie in his bed listening to the rhythmic beeping coming through the wall as he drifted in and out of eternal nightmares. Until starvation and dehydration claimed him and he could die in peace. 

Yes. That sounded like a far more reasonable plan than spending time out in town and risking an encounter with the doppelganger and having to dodge his attempts as friendship. 

So for today, Goro remained home. He had the TV on for background noise, some documentary on unsolved crimes was running while he prepared himself a simple lunch. He had no big plans outside of reading and finishing one of the novels he’d purchased, and hopefully forgetting the faces of his past. Something that should be easy enough to do so long as he kept himself focused. 

But focus was not a luxury he would be afforded today. 

As he sat down to eat he heard voices through the thin walls of his kitchen. The sound of the couple next door talking excitedly to someone. He honestly didn’t care about them. They bothered him less than the old lady, and he made it a point to interact with them as little as they did with him. But today their voices and conversation begged his ear to listen. 

The third voice seemed to filter in clearly, even though the individual wasn’t very loud. A familiar friendly tone belonging to a young man. Goro grabbed his remote and muted to the TV to listen. He even stopped chewing just to make sure he was hearing the person clearly. 

He could pick up on the trio next door speaking about work, the weather, and flowers. 

Goro shuddered. 

It couldn’t be possible. Was Ren next door? Was he not even safe in his own home? Why was the past so intent upon haunting him? As if it would matter, Goro picked up his plate and moved from his kitchen to sit on the couch, away from his neighbor’s wall and Ren’s familiar voice. He turned the TV’s volume back up and focused his attention on the documentary. 

Attention sacrificed less than twenty minutes later when he heard Ren’s voice again, this time form the wall behind him. 

He’d moved to the other side! 

Goro turned around on his couch and put his ear to the wall listening. 

He picked up on the old woman thanking Ren for the delivery. Followed up by the offer of some of her cookies. She let Ren know she had extra since the young man next door hadn’t come out today- 

“No, no, no! Don’t say that you old bat!” Goro muttered with a hiss. The mentioning that someone was next door was enough to spark Ren’s interest. 

Goro listened to them talk about how the apartment had been empty until a month ago. And that the young man next door lived alone and rarely spoke to them. 

He pulled back from the wall and got up. Considering how small the town was, he was certain Ren would piece together it was him within the apartment. Goro turned off his TV and moved to the back of his home. He opted for remaining silent, in the hopes that it would deter Ren from thinking he was there. 

‘Even if he knocks on the door, I won’t answer…’ Goro told himself. He sat on his bed, trying to read. But his thoughts kept drifting to the door. No one had knocked yet. Minutes ticked by and nothing came. Surly Ren was going to try? He’d tried to strike up a conversation with him at every encounter. Why would he give up now right at his doorstep? 

He looked up from his book at his bedroom door; the voices next door had stopped, but no one intruded upon his privacy. 

Had his plan to avoid the florist really worked? 

Goro got up and made his way to his front door. A quick look out the peephole revealed no one was there. He unlocked the door and pushed it open to check the walkway. It only swung part of the way before colliding with something, or rather someone. 

“Oww!” Ren shouted from the other side of the wood. Goro poked his head around to see florist rubbing his nose and looking down. “Th-that really smarts…” 

The brunet watched as Ren finished rubbing his nose. When he finally raised his head to focus where he was going, Ren’s face lit up. “So, we meet again, stranger.” Goro bit his cheeks to stop himself from frowning. “Is this your apartment?” He nodded as Ren leaned forward placing a hand on the door between them. “Are you… going to speak?” 

“Are you stalking me?” The question sounded a lot ruder than he intended; however, was there really a way to ask such a thing without sounding rude? 

“What! No, no! Why would you think that?” 

“You are _everywhere_ I go. It’s starting to become annoying…” Goro still stood with his open door between them as he heaped accusations upon the florist. Ironic ones, he noted in the back of his head, considering he used to stalk Akira around Tokyo. “When I go out to shop, when I go out to eat, even when I try to avoid your store-” 

“It’s a small town,” Ren pointed out. “Your bound to run into the same people nearly every day. This isn’t the city.” 

“But now you’re here, at my apartment.” 

“I didn’t know you lived here,” Ren pointed around him. “I was just delivering to the Seijuro’s for their anniversary. And whenever I’m here I stop by to see Reiko-san. She always has cookies to snack on.” 

“I know…” Goro sighed. 

“But I’m glad I ran into you,” Ren held up his hands, “Just wait one moment!” He ducked around the door and made his way down the path, then the stairs to a scooter parked in the apartment parking lot. Goro considered retreating into his apartment. He was sure Ren was going to give him another useless plant. 

“I should give him back all the others…” He considered moving to retrieve them, but stayed put until the other came bounding back up the stairs. 

“Here!” Ren extended both his hands to him. Laid out across his palms was a rather large piece of folded white paper. This one was pressed much flatter than the others, as if it had been compressed for some time. Goro tentatively took it and began unwrapping the paper. Inside was a large pressed white flower. It had long thin white petals, and several yellow stems of pollen circling around its center. Within the white petals, it appeared to even have a smaller, yellow bud with stick thin yellow stalks growing out of its lower center. 

“Do you like it?” 

“What… What is it?” Goro looked up confused. 

“It’s a ‘Night-blooming cereus’ or a Moonflower.” Ren pushed up his glasses as he happily explained the blossom, “They’re very hard to come by! They bloom once at night, and die by morning. They bloom on cacti. I actually had this one sent to me by a friend. I don’t have the plant here, it’s not native to Japan. But when I unwrapped it I thought you might like it-” 

“Why?” Goro cut him off, half ready to give the plant back to him. 

“Err, well, they’re fairly rare and, um,” he paused, hesitant with his admission, “So are you, in a way.” Ren reached up and twisted part of his bangs between his fingers. Goro watched the way his eyes drifted away and breath of skin just under his eyes turned pink. 

“I can’t accept this,” he started to hand it back to him, but Ren pulled his hands back. “Take it.” 

“No,” the black haired boy shook his head, “It’s for you. A gift.” 

“I don’t want it.” Goro responded firmly. “It’s valuable. And you should keep it or give it to someone more deserving.” 

“You don’t think you’re deserving?” Ren asked shocked. 

Goro felt his shoulders drop a little and sighed, “I- I don’t want to accept it from you. I don’t want you to keep giving me things. I want you to go away.” 

Ren said nothing for the first minute. The two of them looked at each other, each casting a melancholic expression. “You-” the flower shop keeper finally started speaking, “You don’t really like me very much, do you?” 

Goro hesitated, his words sticking to his tongue. The short answer was ‘yes’. But it was far more complicated than that, “It’s not your fault.” He folded the paper over and covered the delicate blossom. “It’s the fault of fate and coincidence. You… remind me a lot of someone I’m trying to forget.” 

“Oh? I- I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was bring up painful memories.” He paused. “I’m sorry they hurt you.” 

“They didn’t,” Goro kept his eyes on the flower in his hands. “I hurt him. And I’m moving on, we both are. So… The fact that you look just like him is making this, rather difficult.” 

“Just like him?” Ren folded his arms. “There must be something different about us?” 

“You’re eyes.” He finally looked up at Ren and studied his face. “Your eyes are different.” 

Again they both stood, studying the other’s face. Goro wondered what Ren was thinking. Probably that there was still some way to make a connection here. But was that worth it? Was making a connection with Ren going to help him in anyway? Looking into the mirror of Akira’s face surely would destroy him, right? Not that living alone and avoiding all other human contact was helping. He still had his nightmares. He still had his memories. 

Maybe he needed new memories to forget? 

“I guess I should go then… I don’t desire to bring you pain. I only wanted to make you happy.” Ren broke the silence and offered up a sincere smile at the end of his sentence. “I’ll be going then. See you around, stranger.” 

As he turned to leave the brunet spoke, “Goro. My name is Akechi, Goro.” 

Ren stopped half turning away from him and smiled. “Well, Akechi-san, if ever you need flowers, you know where to find me… I can’t promise they’ll make you forget, but they are good for helping with pain.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Goro nodded to him and watched Ren leave the apartment complex. 

He returned to his apartment, gently shutting the door. Now he had another flower to put on his desk, but there was no room. If this kept up things would become cluttered soon. He supposed he had no choice but to look how to keep and preserve pressed flowers. Luckily, he had purchased that book form the shop. Surly it would have a suggestion. 

He grabbed it from his book shelf and started flipping through the pages, stopping and backtracking when he caught a glimpse of the plant Ren had just given him. He was surprised the flower was listed, but still skimmed the page. The information presented to him was the same as Ren had said. The flower bloomed at night. Was very rare. They tend to die by morning. 

They symbolized dreaming of love. 

Goro scoffed. His dreams were of anything but love. His dreams were nightmares; plagues upon his evening rest. If memory was a sea, they were weights shackled to his legs to drag him down to the dark depths of regret and sorrow. He could barely remember a time he dreamed of love. 

Maybe when he closed his eyes and appreciated the smell of a fresh cup of coffee. Or laughed at the ridiculous names of fake constellations hung up with plastic stars and given tacky names.  Or cuddled up in a dusty attic, under an old blanket listening to the sweet whispers that he could belong here. When Akira believed a simple, self serving lie that he was in love…

 Goro shut the book. 

He needed new memories so he could forget old nightmares.

  


Does this count as dreaming of love? 

This twisted vision? This sinking hellscape? This burning cage? 

He _is_ present in this dream. Though unseen, his voice echoes around Goro’s head. Around his helmet, crawls into his skin and shatters his bones. 

The voice of Akira. The only person screaming his name as if he’s the one in pain. As if he’s the one shot and dying. 

Is this what love feels like? Never ending pain? A never-ending fire? A blaze bursting up from within his soul. The vision of the white hero and the striped god melting together to make something new. And it adds its name to the chorus of Akira’s cries and offers him a promise. 

It offers him happiness in the face of death. 

To erase all his pain and make him forget. 

Do nightmares about love exist? 

He has no excuse for why he showed up at the flower shop the first time after giving Ren his name. The florist himself provided Goro with a reason- a potted planted to brighten up his home. Ren allowed him to circle the shop looking for a plant that he could take home to call his own. 

When he picked out a little pot with tiny yellow flowers blooming among a bushel of green stems the doppelganger laughed. Though he would not clarify why beyond that he felt Goro had an interesting ‘type’ and the plant he had picked out was called a rue. He purchased the plant, and Ren gifted him with another pressed flower. 

A daffodil. 

The second time Goro came to Ren’s shop he had an excuse prepared for why he needed to see the florist. He still hadn’t figured out what to do with all the flowers Ren had given him and he was genuinely starting to worry they’d rot. 

So that afternoon Ren closed up his shop and went with Goro to the bookstore. The two combed through the shelves until they found an old text book that they confirmed he’d never want to read. The black haired young man then brought him back to the shop and showed him how to secure the flowers into the pages. 

He showed him using a lotus blossom, and then insisted Goro keep it. Though not his first flower, it would be the first in the book. 

Ren had secured it to the first page and scribbled over it. 

 _‘Think of me when you make a new memory. From:’_  

“From, Ren…” Goro stared at the page in the safety of his own home. Outside the old woman was sweeping and the little boy was bouncing his ball. He’d put the rest of the plants in the book and now had plenty of space to store his future ones. 

The thought of having more to put into the book generated a confusing feeling within him. Did he want more? He found that spending time with Ren wasn’t unpleasant. But was it alright? Did he deserve to spend time with Ren and make these new memories? 

The question created an unsettling feeling, not unlike his nightmares. It made his heart race, and in the quiet of his apartment he swore he heard the steady beeping from next door pick up as he breathing faltered. 

When he went to bed he tried to keep his thoughts focused on flowers and pollen and golden eyes. 

But he only dreamed of metal and fire and gunshots.

By the end of the week, when Goro arrived at Ren’s shop the excuses had stopped. The two had come to accept over the course of the week, that at some point in the afternoon Goro would stop in. Perhaps just to say hi, or for Ren to give him another flower for his collection. 

He never stayed long, just enough to learn something about the plants on display or the florist himself. 

Ren lived above the shop by himself. His parents actually owned it, but when they wanted to move to the city he wanted to stay behind, finding country life much more pleasant. He took over running the shop when they left. He was considering getting a pet, and much to Goro’s worry, he was considering a cat. 

Maybe he could talk him into a bird… 

Still their interactions were pleasant. Reminiscent of a life he left behind, but not quite the same. There was that warm, inviting feeling. But it was coupled with something new. A lack of impending ruin hanging over his head. There were not secrets to hide from one another, no mysteries to solve. No politicians and gods pulling strings. No other worlds and cognitions to manipulate. 

Ren was simple in his ways and his life. And that simplicity offered Goro a place to escape to, to neglect all the old things he was and embrace all the new things he could have. 

Today they were going to go out to eat together. Despite his coming and going all week they still hadn’t shared a meal. He was watching Ren close up his shop, when the florist asked him to flow him out into the greenhouse. Goro had yet to set foot in the attached building, but once he was through the door he felt it was somewhat bigger than he was expecting. 

There were so many plants, he felt as if he had stepped into a jungle. There were tables set up with starter plants in little irrigated pots, larger plants along the walls, a row of lattice for ivy and vines, pools of water from little fountains for plants that took to root in water instead of soil. More plants than he could really wrap his head around. 

“There are so many… Are all of these for the shop?” Goro stopped next to a group of blooming red plants with thin petals and long red stems coming off of them. 

“No, I keep most of these out of hobby. But having so many one hand does mean I can make a number of arrangements.” Ren watched Goro examine the plant and sighed, “You really do have a type, don’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” He glanced over at the other young man and watched him twist his hair between his fingers. 

“You love these plants with glum meanings…” Ren approached him, “This is a spider lily, do you like it?” 

“I think it’s-” Goro paused considering the plan, “I think it stands out.” 

“Then let’s get it for you,” Ren leaned forward and plucked on form their stems. 

“What about lunch?” 

“This won’t take long, follow me.” Ren motioned for him to follow and Goro started to move. However, he only made it two steps before he heard a faint beeping. Like the sound from the walls over his bedroom, it came and matched his breathing. Teasing at him that he was alive. 

The brunet turned around in place, looking for the source. He resolved it was coming from the back of the greenhouse. So, he turned and followed it. Around rows of other plants, and past a few more tables. The beeping grew louder. The steady rhythm pounding at his ears as he drew closer to a potted plant on a table, encased in a plastic box and sectioned off by itself. 

It grew up out of its dirt with several green leaves, and tiny blue buds. Buds that Goro noted were slowly turning brown. Even some of the leaves were shriveling up. He could swear the plant itself was beeping. Giving off a steady heartbeat. He reached out to touch the box- 

“Akechi-kun?” He turned around, Ren had come back into the shop. He still holding the spider lily. “Is something wrong?” 

At the sound of Ren’s voice the noise had died down. Goro looked back at the plant, “I was just- curious about this one? It’s in a box?” 

“Ah,” Ren walked forward and stood over the plant, his expression sad, but he still smiled. “It’s a Forget-me-not. But it’s sick. Its dying…” 

“Oh,” Goro looked it over. “Wouldn’t it be better to throw it out?” 

“I’m trying to heal it. New soil, freshwater, anything I can do to help it.” 

“…Does that work?” 

“We’ll see,” Ren shrugged with a smile. “But for now, your plant is what we’re working on. Follow me.” Ren lead him back into the shop and moved around the counter to pull out a piece of parchment. “You’ve never watched me press them before, have you?” 

“No, I haven’t. You always just give them to me…” Goro stood on the customer side of the counter and watched. 

“To be honest, I should let it dry out a little bit first, but this should be fine.” Ren laid the flower down and carefully began arranging the petals and the stems so that they would not cluster together. He used a bit of green craft tape hold down the more stubborn ends and laid a few tissues over the plant before sandwiching it between another piece of parchment. He then picked up a large square paper weight he kept behind the counter and gently placed it over the flower. “You can’t take it right away, but I’ll check it tomorrow, and in a few days you can take it home.” 

“I never realized it was a process…” 

“What?” Ren chuckled, “You thought I could just smash them any old way and they’d come out as pretty?” 

“Hmn, I guess that makes sense…” He reached out and ran his hand over the weight, “You put a lot of care into all those plants you gave me.” 

“Ah, well, yes. They’re gifts.” 

“I haven’t given you anything.” 

“On the contrary,” Ren reached out and put his hand over the brunet’s, “You gave me your name and your time. That’s more than enough.”

 

His name. 

Over the next few weeks Goro realized throughout all his nightmares he never says _his_ name.

He only utters it when he’s awake, or thinks of it when Ren does something similar to his former lover. 

But in all his dreams he never says Akira’s name. 

But his is shouted over and over. 

Akira calls to him, banging red fist on metal doors. Pleads with him, his voice cracking between pitches of anger and grief. Weeps for him, accepting that the wall between them is forever. 

But when Ren speaks his name, the sadness is missing. Nothing is broken. Nothing is being taken from him. He speaks with levity and joy, a simple happiness of sharing Goro’s company. A happiness that Ren has invited him to enjoy and slowly sinks into his chest. 

He still has nightmares, and he still awakens to the frustrating beeping of a heart. The old woman next door still offers up bland cookies and the little boy on the corner plays with no one. 

The sky is clear and the air is crisp and the day is perfect. 

Perfect like every pressed flower Ren so carefully makes and gives to him. The spider lily he picked out along with a rosemary, a gardenia, and a red rose selected by Ren. He tried to press one of the rue blossoms at home, but looked far less impressive than Ren’s work. How he managed to arrange the blossom, so it looked as if it had bloomed opened out and flat and just right, Goro would never know. His had two petals on his curled up and creased, and the center smudged. 

He had been planning to show it to the florist, but now it sat on the top of his trash. 

A failure. 

Tonight he was going to Ren’s apartment for dinner. Thus far the two had only eaten out at the restaurants around town. However, Ren insisted that for the weekend he’d treat Goro to a home cooked meal. 

Just so long as it wasn’t curry. 

He made his way through the streets; the evening sky over head slowly pushed back the clear blue with deep black and where they met purples and pinks bled together. The colors reminded him of the plants in Ren’s shop. 

When Goro arrived the door was already locked, but Ren was still inside, sweeping the floor. The shopkeeper opened the door enthusiastically for him, and told him he’d be done in just a moment. There was a second door on the side of the shop that lead outside to a set of stairs leading up the apartment above. 

It was much nicer than Goro’s cramped little place. And adequate home for what once housed a couple and their son. Though he supposed now that he was by himself, Ren probably felt somewhat lonely. That was probably why he wanted a cat. 

Or to make friends with the new stranger in town. 

“I didn’t make us anything fancy,” Ren admitted, “Just udon for dinner and a strawberry cake for dessert.” 

“That’s perfectly fine,” Goro offered up a faint smile, “I usually eat out. Any home cooked meal sounds wonderful to me.” 

“You really always eat out?” Ren held his chin in his hands for a moment, “The perhaps I should make it a point to cook for you a few times a week.” 

“Please, don’t go out of your way to do that.” 

“I’m not going out of my way for a friend, Goro. We’ll have dinner together twice- no three times a week. I already cook for myself most of the week, so it’s no trouble. Okay?” 

Goro considered refusing, but by now he had learned that refusing Ren just meant he’d find another way to get what he wanted. He was like Akira in that way: he was persistent. It wasn’t a bad trait. And at least Ren didn’t do anything illegal with it. 

Still, the dinner was pleasant. Goro let Ren do most of the talking, telling him about the other shop keepers and various funny stories around town. He only asked a few times about Goro’s life in Tokyo, but the former detective declined.  For dessert Ren moved them to the couch, stating he found a movie for them to watch. 

“I hope it’s something you’ll like,” Goro took his seat as the other held up a DVD case. “Its an anime adaptation of Featherman: From the Ashes!” 

Goro’s eyes widened a bit, “You… got a Featherman movie?” 

“What’s wrong?” Ren asked, his lips twisting into a bit of a frown, “I saw you by a few light novels the other week. And you mentioned watching the show last Sunday…” 

“Ah! Yes well,” Goro leaned back on the couch, he couldn’t deny that he like the Phoenix Ranger Featherman series… but he rarely met anyone his own age willing to put up with it, even Akira was always at a loss as to why he watched it. “You don’t have to watch it for my sake. Wouldn’t you be interested in watching something else?” 

“No,” Ren turned around and popped the DVD into his player, “I wanted to do something that would make you happy.” Ren walked away from the television and fetched them each a slice of cake. 

“You seem awfully focused on my happiness...” Goro took his cake and picked at it before he started eating. 

“Well, you seem… upset,” Ren shrugged. “And since we are friends, I felt it was important to cheer you up. After all, I’m trying to help you make new memories, remember?” 

Goro looked up from his plate into Ren’s face. His golden eyes were shining with a simple and pure joy that Goro felt he lacked. Ren was happy to have him there. But would he be happy with him if he knew how he got here? 

“Right, new memories…” 

They ate their cake and let the movie play. Ren actually knew nothing of Featherman, so it was a bit of a fun experience filling him in on character backstories during the movie. By the end the florist was suggesting they get together each Sunday and watch the episodes so he could be more informed. 

By the time the movie was finished it was late into the evening. Goro offered to stay and help clean up the dishes, like any good guest should do, before Ren saw him off. 

“I’m glad that you came to dinner,” Ren stood with Goro next to the apartment door. “We can do this again Sunday, but perhaps breakfast? So, we can catch Featherman on TV?” 

Goro chuckled at his suggestion, “You’re very insistent, aren’t you? Shouldn’t we do what you like for once?” 

“I like what you like,” he responded with a shrug. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re happy here.” 

Goro fell silent, his eyes drifting down for a moment. He could tell Ren was watching him. “I don’t feel like that’s enough.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re giving me, a lot. And I’ve offered you nothing,” he raised his head. “Why?” 

It was Ren’s turn to be quiet. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together. “Just, just having you here is enough for me… I watched you ride by my shop for a month and I thought you’d never speak to me. And now you’re here, as my friend. That’s better than I expected.” 

“So,” Goro folded his arms, “You always wanted to speak to me?” 

“I did make that clear, didn’t I?” Ren chuckled, “At the bookstore when I asked you when you’d come to see me? Or with all the flowers…” 

“The flowers!” Goro exclaimed. 

Ren laughed, “You’ve not looked them up have you?” He covered his mouth as he chuckled. 

“Well, I will now.” 

“Don’t bother…” Ren shook his head, “I can tell you what they mean.” Ren ceased laughing and cleared his throat. Goro watched as the black haired young man took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “I like you. And I want you to feel welcomed here. I want you to feel, like maybe you could be happy here with me. Because I like you, a lot.” 

Goro pressed his lips together. He was doing his best to control the emotions trying to force themselves up to his face, but he could feel his eyes widening a bit. And he could see it on Ren’s face that his shock was apparent. 

“I know- I know now you’ve told me I have the face of someone you want to forget so, it’s probably not possible… but we can be friends, can’t we?” 

Goro said nothing. 

“Can’t we, Goro?” Ren said it again. This time tilting his head forward a bit. This time saying his name with just a hint of sadness. 

“We, we can be friends,” the sound of his name snapped him out of his shock. “We can be… more. I don’t- want you to be sad.” He reached out and grabbed Ren by the shoulders. “I don’t want to hear you say my name like _that_.” 

He was sure Ren didn’t understand what he meant, but he smiled. This was possibly a mistake. Ren’s happiness wasn’t Akira’s. But if he could make him happy, maybe he’d forget the heart he broke. Maybe he wouldn’t hear his name in his nightmares any more. Maybe he wouldn’t hear the sound of fist on metal and cries of pain laced through every syllable of his name. 

“We can be more,” Goro said it again. And this time he leaned forward and gently kissed the side of Ren’s face. He felt Ren wrap his arms around him and embrace him in a hug. The other whispered a promise to him that they’d take it slow. He just wanted Goro to feel as happy as he did in this moment. 

A moment broken by the sound of Ren’s phone ringing. It was sitting on the coffee table, gently shaking from the incoming call. 

He pulled away from Goro and looked over at it startled. 

“Are you expecting a call this late?” Goro asked. 

“No,” Ren shook his head. He reluctantly pulled away from him. 

“Maybe it’s your parents?” 

“They wouldn’t call this late…” Ren walked over and picked up his phone while staring at Goro. “Hello…Yes of course you are, it’s very late. And I’m very busy.” 

The brunet frowned; Ren’s tone seemed a little harsh. It was just a phone call, there was no need to treat the other person like that had done something wrong. 

“-What do you mean they’re gone?” Goro watched as Ren’s face lit up with confusion. “No, that’s not- No-” Ren took a deep breath and turned around, putting his back to Goro. “When did you see them last? This afternoon… Okay. No. Thank you for telling me. I’ll replace them.” 

He hung up his phone and looked at it. Goro could swear he saw the phone shaking a bit in his hands. 

“Ren, are you alright? What was that?” 

“Sorry!” He turned back around and ran his free hand through his hair. “T-that… That was the Seijuros calling. Yes... They’re missing. I mean their flowers are missing… My delivery. Yes.” 

“They called you because their flowers are missing?” Goro shook his head, “Like a break-in? Shouldn’t they call the police?” 

“Oh, no no! Not like a break-in,” Ren tapped his chin, he seemed a bit anxious, “The husband works in a little office near the town entrance. He’s missing- his flowers. A coworker probably took them. His wife just wants a replacement.” 

“I see… Still she could have called you during hours.” 

Ren shrugged, “It’s no worry…” He set his phone down and walked back over to Goro. “Anyway, it’s late. You should probably head home. Maybe I should walk you?” 

“No, maybe you should rest. You seem, very bothered by this…” He reached out to put a hand on Ren’s shoulder. “Get some rest so you don’t freak out. I know your flowers are important to you.” 

“They’re not nearly as important as you…” Ren smiled and leaned forward to place a kiss on Goro’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Head straight home! And rest well!” 

Ren opened the door for him the first thing Goro noticed was that the air outside seemed heavy. He wondered if he had missed in the news report that the humidity would be going up. However, Ren seemed unphased by the sudden change in atmosphere. Perhaps the other was used to this sort of thing? It’s not like it was a great shift, but it was still enough to notice and make the air feel weighted. 

The walk back to his apartment wasn’t great in the humidity, but at least he had his thoughts to distract him. 

He and Ren were dating now, he supposed. It wasn’t what he had planned. But he accepted it. In away he looked forward to it. Perhaps he could do right by Ren where he had failed with Akira. 

As Goro approached his apartment he stopped. The little boy was outside. He was never out after dark. But here he was bouncing his ball. When Goro questioned why he was outside the child only told him he had to defend the corner until things settled down. 

He had no idea what that meant. Was he playing some sort of game with a group of other kids? Or was it all in his head? 

And what kind of parents let their son out this late at night to play? 

He questioned if he should return the boy to his apartment or not and settled on not. Maybe that’s just how things were in small towns. He retreated into his apartment, escaping the night air. He had more important things to do rather than worry about the boy on the corner. 

Though he did notice that next door to his kitchen there was a lot of noise. That woman was really upset over those flowers. Maybe they were expensive? Again, a problem that didn’t concern him. 

Goro retired to bed, letting sleep claim him.

  


The subtle beeping that synced up with his heart seemed a bit slower. 

Perhaps a sign that the nightmare he was due for tonight wouldn’t be as bad. 

There was still his reflection. The shadows. The metal door and grates of the boat. 

He still heard the gunshots, and he still felt the pain. 

But no one called his name. 

Where there should have been weeping, it was replaced with a far and distant echo. The sweet offering of something calming and inviting. The new voice saying its name and the one speaking to him in the blue flames sounded similar. 

Offering him an oath in his own blood. 

His happiness in exchange of a nightmare.

Over the course of the next week, Goro continued to see Ren daily. Now that they were trying to be ‘more’, his routine had changed. He still got up early and road through the town on his bike. But he stopped at the main strip and helped open the flower shop. They’d share a cup of coffee from the café across the street, and Goro got to learn about the various plants Ren was preparing for that morning. He spent half his lunches alone and half of them eating out somewhere with the raven haired florist, and Ren still insisted he make them dinner at least every other day. 

It was strange. 

It all seemed so simple. Almost too simple, how quickly Ren took to him, and he to Ren. The other was so accommodating, but he didn’t really know him. Goro still felt like a stranger in his life. Ren assured him things were fine, as long as he was happy. He even teased Goro that he was like a plant himself. Needing care and reassurance that things were fine. Ren gives all his time and patients to his plants to keep them healthy and happy; in turn he feels happy and prideful with how they come out. 

Maybe he felt Goro was some type of plant? 

He couldn’t deny that their time together made his nights less frightful. 

He still heard his name, though the panic and fear was waning and being replaced with something soothing. 

His reflection still came for him, but the killing blow didn’t leave him in a cold sweat. 

The fires still consumed him, but the promise of what was birthed in the flame felt less foreign. 

And the thought of Akira seemed more distant. 

“It’s still dying…” Goro stood over the boxed Forget-me-not. The plant seemed to have wilted rapidly over the week. More of its blue flowers hand turned brown and fallen off. “It seems you can’t help this one…” 

“Hmn,” Ren approached his side and watched Goro put one hand on the box. 

“What do they mean, anyway?” 

“Forget-me-nots? True Love.” Ren chuckled, “It’s a hard thing to die, isn’t it?” 

Goro took his hand off the box, almost like it had hurt him. To some extent it had. True love was hard to kill? “You’re not, intentionally killing this plant, are you?” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Ren corrected him. “I’m trying to help it get better in a way.” He leaned forward, and let his own hand rest on the box, “Sometimes, all you can do is help a plant wilt peacefully. I’ve been clipping off the dead parts, changing the soil, watering it regularly… I know it looks bad, but this is the best thing for it.” 

Goro wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe that was for the best? He didn’t know anything about plants after all… 

From the front of the shop the two heard someone call out, they sounded confused. Ren excused himself, leaving Goro to finish checking the greenhouse plants for him. He slowly walked around the room, putting water on the ones that needed it, the conversation filtering in from the shop. 

“-Hello!? Oh! Master Ren, you are here!?” 

“Stop, stop that, please, there’s no need to, to call me that right now… My guest is in the back. What do you need? Shouldn’t you be at your shop downtown?” 

“I was, but _you_ sent me away.” 

“Me?” 

Goro stopped watering the plants. There was something strange about what was being said. He set down the watering can and moved toward the door. 

“You did, I swear you did. You were downtown just an hour ago-” 

“Impossible,” Ren cut him off. “I’ve been here all morning with Goro.” 

The brunet glanced through the door of the greenhouse. Ren and the owner of the restaurant across from the garden were standing at the counter arguing. The man insisting he’d seen him earlier. 

“You asked me to close up shop, you asked all of us to-” 

“I would never!” 

“Excuse me,” Goro interrupted them. “Why would you close up your shop for Ren anyway?” Goro stood in the doorway. “It’s your shop, not his…?" 

The man on the other side of counter seemed to shudder for a moment. He rubbed his face, and stared at Goro through his cracked fingers. Goro could swear that behind his hands his eyes turned red. 

“Please, stop that.” Ren reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “Someone is playing a game with you. A _trickster_. You should head back downtown… I’ve been here all day. I promise I didn’t ask you leave your shop.” 

“But-but-” the man lowered his hands, his expression returned to normal. “What if you come back?” 

“Then while I am there call me here. If I’m here…” Ren stopped glancing at Goro for a moment. As if considering his words, “If I’m here, tell that me his _jokes_ aren’t welcome here. And remove him.” 

“Yes, of course… Sorry to bother you Ma- Sorry to bother you Amamiya-san.” The man bowed his head and left the shop in a hurry. 

Goro walked up the counter frowning, “What was that? ‘Master Ren’? Asking him to close up his shop?” 

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry…” Ren ran a hand through his air in thought. “Some of the older residence… ‘Master’ is an endearing term. They see floral arranging as a- a bit of an art.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not fond of it, it’s embarrassing.” 

“Alright, but that doesn’t explain why he’d close up shop for you…” 

“He thought I needed help with something, or at least, someone that looks like me told him I did…” 

The two stood in silence for a moment. Goro’s gaze was fixed on the door leading out into the street. “I’m done with the plants, I think I’m going to head downtown-” 

“What! No!” Ren reached across the counter and grabbed his arm. “I thought we’d spend the day together!” 

“I always leave you after the morning… Since when-” 

“Since now! Please?” Ren smiled at him, “I just, want you to stay with me today… Please.” 

Goro wanted to pull his arm away. However, Ren’s grip was strangely tight. He looked anxious, fearful even. “I- I don’t know if I’ll be much help to you.” 

“Just having your company is help enough. I just want you to stay here, today…” 

After another few moments, Goro conceded. Ren always got his way. He stayed in the shop, helping him with arrangements, and pruning flowers, and taking inventory. Busy work, anything to keep him from leaving. It was fine, he supposed. Though Ren seemed on edge all day. Anytime the shop door opened his head turned quickly to watch who was entering. 

And Goro couldn’t help but notice that when the door opened, and the air from outside drifted in it felt hot and heavy. As if the weather had shifted again. Perhaps it was best he stayed indoors all day. 

Ren finally had to let him leave once he closed up for the day, but he promised he’d be over in the morning to make Goro breakfast. Insisting he’d make it at his house rather than let the other go out for his morning ride. 

He assured Ren he’d head straight home, but he didn’t. Instead heading downtown just to take a peak. It was the end of the day now, well over twelve hours since that man came into the shop, but he couldn’t resist going. He had to see for himself. A boy that looked like Ren. 

It really couldn’t be him, could it? 

However, everything was quiet down town. The shops seemed in order. There wasn’t even anyone on the street. He was going to leave, empty handed when he noticed the garden across from the restaurant was missing a few plants. He crossed the street and stopped, shocked. 

There were more than a few plants missing, there was a huge scorch mark across a great deal of the lawn. One of the trees looked like it had been cracked with lightning and another blown over onto its side. Goro walked through the destroyed little park baffled. 

Something had caused this… Something not right. Something that made his skin crawl and old memories claw up from the depths of the sea. 

He put a hand to his head and gasped. He felt dizzy, and he heard a ringing in his ears. The louder it become the more he could also hear that awful beeping. Something had had a fight here. A _battle_. The thought was suffocating. He could hear his breathing loudly, the beeping was accelerating along with his heart. 

Faintly someone called his name in panic. Frantically someone shouted his name. Shouted for help. 

“Akira?” Goro looked around. No one was there. He felt sweat forming on his brow. “A-Akira!?” 

Another scolded the first voice. Telling him he was warned a fight might cause damage. 

He dropped to his knees on the burnt grass. He couldn’t breathe any more. 

“Goro!” This time the person calling to him was much more clear. He heard footsteps rushing up to him as he fell over on his side. Hands rolled him onto his back, and he stared up into golden eyes. “Goro! Why- I asked you to head home… Goro!” 

He closed his eyes.

 

 

It's that nightmare again. This time there’s two voices screaming at him in a panic. From behind metal doors and within the blue fire. 

The gunshots had already happened. The others have already faded away. 

There’s just Akira’s voice. 

There’s just Ren’s voice. 

Both of them refusing to let him die the way he wants to. 

The slow steady beeping of the machine is the first thing that comes to his ears. God he hates it so much. Reminding him that he’s still alive, still forced to endure life. The next thing he hears is someone moving around in his kitchen. The sound of pans and utensils slowly clinking together. Then the smell of something sweet comes to his nose. 

Goro rolled out of bed and looked at his clock; it wasn’t too late into the morning. He stumbled out of his room and into the front room to find Ren happily making breakfast. 

“Good morning!” He turned to him. The florist slid a pancake off the pan onto a plate where he was making a stack before setting down everything to come help Goro to the table. “Are you feeling better?” 

“W-what, happened?” 

“You fainted.” Ren sat down next to him. “You’re lucky you were seen falling over. Reiko-san called my shop and told me she saw you collapse.” 

“W-what was she doing out there at that time of night?” 

Ren shook his head, “Who cares. It’s just important that you’re okay.” Ren rubbed his back. “Why didn’t you go home, Goro?” 

He was silent. What was he going to tell Ren? That he thought if he went looking he’d run into his past? The thing he was supposed to be forgetting. 

“I was curious… And then I saw the garden park. What happened there?” 

“Ah,” Ren pressed his lips together. “Someone had a cook out, their grill exploded. Everyone was standing away form it bu-” 

“Grills don’t do _that_.” 

“…I’m just telling you what I was told.” Ren got up and grabbed them each a plate. He divided the pancakes between them and set a bottle of syrup on the table. 

“I want to go back and take a look.” 

“Absolutely not,” Ren poured syrup over his pancakes and then over Goro’s before cutting them up. “You’re not going anywhere. I’m not even opening my shop today. We’re going to make sure you stay in and rest.” 

He started to protest, but was quickly silenced. Ren was having none of it. And he was like that all day. He let Goro do nothing but sit and read and watch TV. He rarely took his eyes off of him, except to step outside and make a few phone calls. Most of which, from what Goro could make out were not very happy ones. 

Ren even stayed over that night; he really didn’t trust Goro to stay put. 

He was right. He would have snuck out if given the chance. 

Still, perhaps because Ren was over that night, his night terrors were less severe. His dreams focused more on the fire that came after he was shot. 

The booming voice announcing the form of a blood oath. The voice that gave way to the feeling of someone gentle pressing their hands to his face and their fingers to his wound. Their promise to full his wish. 

A peaceful death. A quiet end. Free of his bad memories. A bit of happiness for his last moments…

 

 

Ren stayed over for three days. When he was finally content Goro was well he allowed him to leave his apartment. He hated to admit, but it was somewhat nice having Ren over. It was nostalgic of the few nights he stayed in Leblanc. Home cooked meals, up half the night talking nonsense, as if he was a regular teenager, lying in bed next to someone, arms around his middle and promising to always love him. 

It was painfully nostalgic. 

But it chased the nightmares away. It allowed them to fall back into a somewhat normal routine. By the end of the week he was back to helping at the shop. Back to spending his afternoons to himself, back to spending his evenings with Ren. The little garden had been fixed up by the time Goro was let back out into the world. A shame, he wanted to investigate it more. 

He'd have to settle for Ren’s strange explanation. 

That weekend Ren offered to take Goro around the shops uptown near city hall. He had to admit he didn’t spend much time in the area. They were a little more expensive than the rest the stores. But Ren insisted they should buy Goro a new sweater, since his other one was horribly stained with grass and dirt when he collapsed in the park. 

He felt he could get a new one at any store, but Ren wanted to treat him. And Ren always got his way. 

The weather as of late was humid. Goro had only ever known the town to have perfectly clear weather, but he’d only been there a month and a half. No one else seemed to mind that the air the past few days was heavy, or even that the sun lately seemed to be brighter than ever. 

“You know I probably won’t even wear this until it stops being so hot out…” he pointed out to Ren. 

“Well then you’ll have it for later!” Ren happily thumbed through the racks of clothing of the shop they were in. 

Goro had to admit, he liked the store. It had an easy sophisticated style. And everything smelled of new, finely pressed clothes and crisp leather. It’s the kind of store he’d shop in in Tokyo, someplace more for adults than children. Anything to keep up his rotten image. 

“What about this one? It looks nearly just like it,” Ren brought him a blue and grey argyle sweater. Iit was close to his old one. “Try it on.” 

Goro took it and went to stand in front of a mirror as he slipped it on over his shirt. It fit nearly perfect. Perhaps it was a bit tight around his arms. He was inspecting said arms in the mirror before him when the door to the shop flew open. From where he was standing he could see the reflection of the door behind him. 

And what came hurrying in horrified him. 

A plant. A man? 

It was as tall as man. A mass of green stems and limbs twisting together into a body, with a giant blossoming flower for a head. Its body from its feet up to his waist had a familiar red and black swarming mist moving a crossing it. In the center of its bloom, what could be best described as a face- no, a mask. Red eyes shining out from two holes, and a gold plate to look like a pollen center to the red petals extending beyond it. 

Goro felt his heart stop. And immediately the beeping came back. Rapidly. He couldn’t breathe. He spun around and backed up his back hitting the mirror. 

But the creature wasn’t there. Just a startled townsperson, nearly jumping just as he had from how hard Goro hit the mirror. 

“Goro!” Ren rushed over to him, grabbing his arm. “Are you alright?” Ren held onto him, golden eyes wide and confused. 

“I- I-!” He looked to the person in the door, they looked down and walked hurriedly to the back. “T-that wasn’t a person just now, was it?” 

“What do you mean? Of course they were…” Ren looked to the back of the store. “Are you alright?” 

“I, I think the weather is getting to me.” He pushed Ren away and slowly took of the sweater. “I- can we leave?” 

“Sure, just give me a moment…” Goro handed Ren the sweater. The florist offered him a smile before walking over to the patron that had just entered. They were whispering to each other. Maybe he was apologizing for Goro’s sudden reaction. But he could see a slight look of anger on Ren’s face. He watched the boy toss the sweater onto the rack in frustration before turning around and returning to him. 

“Okay, let’s leave.” 

“Are you alright?” Goro asked as Ren grabbed his hand and practically pulled him out of the store. 

“I’ll be fine…” Ren charged forward, his gaze looking around as they walked. 

There was no denying it, it was hotter outside. It felt like the sun was glaring down on them. Yet, there were more people on the street now than Goro had ever seen. Lots of people walking, or standing outside of shops, all of them looking around like Ren. Looking for something… 

“Something is, different…” Goro pulled back forcing them to stop. “Something changed.” 

Ren turned around, “What do you mean?” 

“The people,” he motioned around the street. “There are so many people, it wasn’t like this an hour ago.” 

“Well it’s probably just a busy time of day? We hardly come up this way, after all…” 

Goro rubbed his forehead, “I, suppose…” He closed his eyes. Had he really seen that back in the shop? That was a Shadow right? Was he going insane now that he was trying to forget. Ren grabbed his hand and affectionately rubbed his thumb over Goro’s knuckles. “Come on, let’s head back to my shop. I’ll get you a cool drink. You said the weather was bothering you, right?” 

“Right…?” Goro nodded and allowed himself to be pulled along. What else could he do? 

He stayed at Ren’s shop till sundown. The boy had him do nothing, insisting he needed to rest. Throughout the afternoon the phone rang on and off. The conversations keeping Ren tense, but he wouldn’t disclose why. 

When it finally came time to leave, Goro had to resist Ren’s desire to walk him home. Promising he’d go straight to his apartment. He didn’t feel he could go exploring after what happened today. If he was going to start seeing things, then he couldn’t go roaming about. Reluctantly Ren let him leave with a kiss to his forehead and a promise to come get him for breakfast first thing in the morning. 

His walk home was slow. The air was still so heavy. Goro could swear the humidity itself was infringing upon his vision; distorting it just out of sight. There were still quite a few people out among the strip of shops. Still, walking about despite it getting dark. The town was strangely active, and strangely hot. 

He just wanted to get home and rest. Perhaps he’d sleep well tonight, even without Ren in his bed. 

The crowds didn’t thin until Goro approached his street. It was finally quiet. Though he stopped down stairs, noting that the ball the little boy always played with was sitting on the corner unattended. He walked over to it, and glanced around. It wasn’t like him to forget it… 

Goro turned back to the apartments and made his way up the stairs. He got to the top before stopping in his tracks. Someone was at his door, crouched in front of it, messing with the lock. 

Black messy hair, glasses, and a black cardigan over a white shirt. 

“R-ren?” Goro watched as the figure stood up and turned to face him. With eyes not golden, but grey. “…Akira!” He started to back up, not thinking of the stairs behind him, his foot fell into open air and Goro started to tumble backwards. 

Before he could completely fall, a hand was on his wrist, grabbing him, pulling him forward until he crashed into Akira’s chest and embrace. He didn’t move. 

He was stunned. 

How had he gotten here? How had he moved so fast form the door to stairs to grab him? 

How had he found him! 

“I found him,” he heard Akira say, as if someone else was there. “I finally found him…!” 

“A-akira…?” He finally managed to think enough to free himself from the other’s arms. 

“Goro,” Akira watched him, his expression lit up with joy. He was smiling at him. How could he? Why was he? “Goro, I finally found you. Are you alright?” He reached out to touch his shoulder and Goro smacked his hand away. 

“Stop, stop! How did you find me… How did you get here?” Goro wrapped his arms around himself protectively. This was not what he wanted. This was far from what he wanted. “You need to leave.” He stepped around Akira and the other reached out and grabbed his arm. 

“Not without you,” his grip was firm. Even when Goro tried to jerk his arm away, Akira held fast. 

“Let go of me. Let go!” Goro put his hand over his and tried to push him away. 

“Goro, calm down, please. Keep your voice down-!” Akira reached forward to cover his mouth when the door of the apartment next to Goro’s opened up. The old woman stuck her head out; as she did so Akira turned his head away so he wasn’t facing her. 

“…Everything alright out there boys…? It’s very late.” 

Goro opened his mouth to tell her no, but Akira spoke quickly. “Yes! Everything is fine.” He nodded, but didn’t turn to look at her. “Just go back to sleep for me. I’ll call you if there’s trouble.” 

The old woman nodded and she shut the door. 

“W-what was that?” Goro’s brow creased with confusion. Why did he talk to her like that? Why did she _listen_? 

“Goro,” Akira let go of his arm, he sighed for a moment, but still kept smiling. “Can we talk? Not here, not- here…” He looked around, “If you come with me I’ll tell you how I got here. How you got here.” 

“How I got here?” Goro scoffed. “Akira, I moved here. To get away from you!” 

Akira blinked a few times, clearly confused. “You moved here…” he turned his head and muttered to himself. “He says he moved here…” 

 _“I told you, the distortion was weird… You can’t force this.”_  

Goro looked around. He just heard a female voice echoing around in his head. Like someone was communicating with him- with them. It sounded a lot like… 

“Did I just hear Sakura-san?” He looked around. There was no one else there. 

“Goro,” Akira offered him his hand, “You have to come with me. Please, I can explain everything but we have to do it somewhere safe.” 

“Safe?” Goro shook his head, “My apartment is right there.” 

“Not there,” Akira shook his head, “I know a place. If you follow me, I’ll tell you. But I need you to come with me _please_.” 

He hesitated. This was sudden, and too fast. Akira had just suddenly appeared, and now he was demanding he follow him. Follow him, when he had just started removing him from his memory. Had just accepted that he could possibly move on and be happy with someone else. And now here was Akira, asking for him. 

Why? Why was he here? Why was this happening? 

Goro put his hand to his head, it was starting to hurt. Just thinking about Akira was hurting him. He felt a pain run through his skull and his chest tighten. In his ears, the beeping accelerated. 

 _“What are you doing? His vitals are going nuts!”_  

“I’m not doing anything!” Akira swore at the open air. “Goro,” he grabbed his shoulders. Goro calm down… We have to talk.” 

“I don’t want to… I don’t- I don’t want you here! I never wanted to see you again!” 

“Goro!” 

 _“You have to leave! There’s a big enemy coming your way.”_  

“Enemy?” Goro whispered looking at Akira, “What is she talking about.” 

“Can’t you give me more time?” 

 _“No! Get out of there now!”_  

Akira hesitated, “I’ll be back… Tomorrow night.” He looked around, “Promise you’ll talk to me tomorrow, Goro?” 

“I-” He looked down, “I don’t know if I want to.” 

Akira still hung onto him for a bit longer, but he eventually let him go. “I’ll be back for you. I promise.” 

“Akira!” Goro wanted to tell him not to, to forget it. But he other teenager was already running down the stairs. He moved so fast; he couldn’t remember Akira ever sprinting that quickly outside of a palace. He was down the steps and out of sight before he could process if he had even been real or not. 

He continued to rub his head with frustration. 

“Goro?” His name again. He looked down the steps now to see Akira- no Ren. Golden eyes wide with worry. “You’re still up and about?” 

“Sorry, I- I started to feel unwell.” 

Ren climbed the stairs, he pulled the brunet close and kissed the side of his head. “I knew I should stay with you tonight. Come on.” Ren pulled him away from the stairs. Still Goro looked back wondering about Akira, and why he had come. 

And what his visit had meant.

Of course Goro didn’t sleep well that night. Even with Ren sleeping beside him. His dreams were a mess. Though that wasn’t to say that they were nightmares.

 

 

The blue flames came. The fires of hell. 

Death should have followed. 

But something chained him to life. 

Someone chained him to this existence. 

A steady heartbeat and the whisper of his name. 

Over and over again; night after night. These feelings were torture. Maybe this was hell? But the fire promised him happiness. A reprieve at the end of his long and arduous life. A chance to be happy. 

A chance disrupted by the breaking down of an impenetrable metal door. 

When Goro woke up he found he was alone in his bedroom. But he could clearly hear the sounds of another person moving around in the front of the apartment. He didn’t get up right away, instead listening to the sounds of the beeping filtering through the wall, and of dishware clattering about. A sound that was soon followed by the rich smell of breakfast cooking on the stove. 

He rolled out of bed and made his way into the kitchen where he stood silently watching Ren. It was Ren, wasn’t it? 

“Good morning!” He turned to him, golden eyes bright with a smile. 

Yes, this was Ren. 

“…Good morning.” Goro took a seat still watching him, half expecting the next time he turned around he’d have eyes the color of storm clouds. “You didn’t have to stay and make breakfast.” 

“I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Ren walked over to the table and set a plate down in front of him. “You slept, well, terribly to say the least. You kept rolling around and mumbling in your sleep.” 

“I’m sorry,” he looked down at the plate of food, as he reached up to grab a utensil he stopped, “You didn’t make yourself a plate?” 

“Ah, no,” Ren crossed his arms, but smiled. “I have a very big order to do today. It’s unexpected… But there’s a lot to be done. I can’t stay with you today. I probably won’t be back until evening.” 

Goro nodded. So Ren would be away all day? Did that mean he’d see Akira? Or would he see no one? 

“You should stay inside today, and just rest.” Ren leaned over his seat and put a hand on his back. “I don’t want to have to worry about you.” 

Goro picked at his meal. He could stay inside. He’s done it plenty of times before to avoid others. But, Akira already knew where he was. Would staying put really keep him away? He said he’d back, meaning he’d more than likely come here… 

“Maybe I should stay at your place.” 

“You can’t,” Ren shook his head. “I’m- you’ll distract me.” He shook his head. Goro wanted to tease him about not having any self-restraint, but held it in. Akira was the same way. He didn’t want to think about that. “…If you really must go out, be careful?” Ren leaned in closer and produced a red camellia, though it wasn’t pressed. He gently pinned it to Goro’s shirt. 

“What’s this for?” 

“Protection!” He said it so cheerfully. “Since you were unwell last night, and I can’t be with you.” He reached over and gently stroked his hand along Goro’s jawline. “It will keep away what’s bothering you so long as you wear it.” 

Goro watched him pull away, there was something about the way he spoke and the way he moved at that moment that made his heart race a little. He wasn’t sure if it felt wrong, or if it felt welcomed. But it was a sensation that burned over every inch of his skin, from his face down to his toes. Spreading like fire. 

“Promise me you’ll keep it on?” 

“I- I promise.” 

“Then I’ll see you tonight.” Ren placed a kiss, right in the middle of his forehead before pulling away and departing. 

Goro wasn’t really sure what to do with himself for the day. He finished breakfast after Ren left, but he knew he wasn’t going to stay in his apartment. He grabbed his bike and left the small complex. By the time he went outside the old lady and the boy were back to their routine, though there were a few more kids out playing ball on the corner today. 

The air felt heavy, and the breeze was hot. It made cycling around town a bit more unpleasant than usual, but he still carried on. He couldn’t stay at the apartment. But he had no destination either. His mind was trying to piece together where Akira would be in the town, however once he found an answer to that riddle he didn’t know if that meant he wanted to find him or stay away from him. 

Akira had ruined his life. His plans. His dreams. His future. 

Akira had changed his way of thinking, his beliefs, and his view of himself. 

He was everything he hated about his life back then. A living reminder of his failures. Of things that could have been, of feelings that both made him feel alive and made him want to destroy everything around him simultaneously. 

He didn’t want to find Akira, he wanted to forget him. He thought that Akira wanted that too, but of course, the other boy never did what he expected him to. 

Goro first hid himself at the bookstore, trying to find something new to read. A detective novel, a non-fiction study, a light novel, anything would due. After settling on a book, he left. Of course, he went by Ren’s store, despite the other boy warning him he was busy that day, he had to take a look for himself. 

Yet the store was closed up tight. 

He was on his own, with his thoughts and his concerns. 

Goro drifted from one place in town to the next, trying not to think about the night prior. He settled on hanging out in a restaurant uptown, but the unusual crowd of people gathered there made it hard to enjoy being alone. His book did nothing to keep his mind from wandering, and the heat throughout the day intensified. 

He roamed the shops up and down town, eventually making his way back to the once destroyed park across from the restaurant. It had been a mess, just two nights ago, but now it looked as if nothing had happened here at all. Even just standing in the middle of it he could feel that odd sickening feeling creeping back. It tightened around his chest and warned him things were not alright. 

The brunet found a seat in the garden and set his book down beside him. Sometime after lunch, the sun had become practically unbearable. But he still didn’t want to go home, and it seemed most of the town felt the same way. The streets were more crowded than he remembered them ever being; though he also felt many of them he kept seeing over and over again. 

At some point he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. His left hand reaching up to let his fingers run over the red blossom stuck to his shirt as his thoughts slipped away. 

It probably wasn’t wise to take a nap in the park. The heat from the sun didn’t help suppress his dreams of fire. 

If anything it intensified them. 

A pair of golden eyes the flame stared back at him, a nebulous face and a crooked smile. 

The uttering of understanding as hands reached out to grab his face and fingers pressed into the wound in his forehead. 

A promise that in this last moment the nightmare will end. And he can be happy. If only for a moment. 

He’s not sure if he wants to push it away, or to keep crying out. He doesn’t even know if he can. His body has no strength. Crumpled on the metal grates of the ships floor. All he can do is let the fire take him while his name is called. 

Louder and louder in tandem with the incessant beeping until he’s jarred awake gasping and reaching out for the open air- 

Only to find his fingers digging into a familiar black cardigan. 

“Goro!” Akira held onto his shoulders, his own fingers digging in to keep him from falling over. The sun over head had moved to position itself to set, and the sky was quickly changing its colors from blues to rose colored purples to match. “Goro…” Akira leaned down to make level eye contact with him. 

It was Akira, wasn’t it? There were a pair of grey eyes watching him from behind those glasses. 

“Y-ou… Akira! What are you doing here!?” 

“I’ve been looking for you all day,” he shook his head. “You weren’t at home, and I’ve been running around town figh- trying to find you. Are you okay?” 

“I- I’m fine. I just fell asleep.” 

Akira nodded and let go of him. Goro watched as he rolled his shoulders before smiling confidently. “Great, then let’s get out of here before anyone else shows up.” 

His ex extended his hand to him, but Goro didn’t move. He looked at the palm of Akira’s hand and then up at the other boy, “Why are you here?” 

“What? Isn’t it obvious? I’m here for you.” 

“But why?” Goro questioned him again. He watched as Akira lowered his hand, it seemed the other teenager wasn’t expecting him to question his arrival. 

Before Akira could think up and adequate answer the sound of voices carrying over from the street hit their ears. Goro could hear two townspeople talking. 

“Phantom this… Joker that… Phantom that… Joker this… I just want to go back to my home.” 

“Keep going, we have to check this whole block.” 

Goro got to his feet, confusion painted on his face, “What are they talking about?” He started to push past Akira and call out to them when the other grabbed his wrist. 

“Don’t!” Akira pulled him behind the bench and put a hand over his mouth. The two men on the street walked into the garden and glanced around. 

“No, nothing still… Keep going.” 

As soon as they walked away Akira poked his head out from behind the bench. “I’m running too low on everything to deal with more of them on my own.” 

“What are you talking about!?” Goro hissed at him as he got up. 

Akira looked down the direction the two men went before taking Goro’s hand again, “Follow me back to the saf- my hotel room. I’ll tell you all about it there.” 

Before he could refuse, Goro was being dragged out of the park. Akira ran down the street, seeming to never grow tired. He only stopped when he thought he saw another person walking about. Usually opting to pull Goro and himself in between buildings to wait until they passed by, or take another street all together. 

It was weird. It was like they were hiding. Ducking into shadows and nooks and crannies. Staying out of the street lights as they came on. This felt like a heist. But there’s nothing to steal in the real world. 

Eventually Akira lead Goro to an inn not far from his apartment building. The black hair teenager kept up his stunts of avoiding any other human being as they came in the front door, he glanced around before sprinting past reception and down the hall to a room he pushed open. 

The moment Goro crossed the threshold Akira shut the door and breathed a sigh of relief. Goro on the other hand felt dizzy. He was standing in the doorway of a little room with a bed and a desk and a window- and then he wasn’t. It was white, with white tile, and bright lights, and plastic curtains next to a sterile looking bed. 

He pressed his left hand to his forehead and reached out with his right to grab the wall as the hotel room returned. But now he could hear a faint beeping echoing around the room. And the sound of suction and release from a breathing machine. 

“Goro?” Akira wrapped one arm around him and pulled him over to the bed to sit down as he cradled his head in his hands. “Are you alright? What’s happening?” 

“T-the room,” Goro gasped still holding his head, “The room changed just now!” 

Akira didn’t say anything, but Goro could feel him run one hand down his back a few times before wrapping his arms around him. “Are you going to be okay? Here, just lie down for a second.” Despite not wanting to, Goro wasn’t in a position to stop Akira from forcing him to lean back onto the bed with him. 

The former thief kept one arm around him and with his free hand ran his hands through Goro’s hair. 

“Sorry, I should have guessed you’d have a reaction here… But I didn’t know where else to take you.” 

“…A reaction?” Despite himself Goro leaned into Akira’s embrace. It felt warm and familiar. He still smelled of coffee and a dusty attic. 

“Yeah,” Akira muttered, “Futaba keeps telling me if I’m not careful I’m going to do… ‘ir-repairable’ damage.” 

“Irreparable is the word,” Goro scoffed. He finally felt someone what steady enough to sit up, though pulling away made him realize the room felt drafty in comparison to Akira’s arms. “…What are you doing here, Akira? What’s going on? Why are you looking for me?” 

Akira stayed on the bed, allowing Goro to look down at him and watch his features change as he sorted out his answer. “I want you to come home.” 

“I don’t have a home, Akira.” 

“Yes you do!” This time the other sat up, “I already told you before, you have a home. You have a place to come back to-” 

Goro looked away, “Your dust covered trashy attic is not a home, Akira.” 

“Not the attic! Me! You belong with me! I’m your home!” 

Goro kept looking away as he shook his head, “I tried to kill you. Or did you forget?” 

“…I think about it, probably more than you realize.” 

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” Goro turned back to face him. “I can’t stop thinking about how I should have died… I wanted to make it up to you. I wanted to die.” 

“I know.” 

“And I didn’t!” 

“…I know that too.” 

“So why are you here?” Goro scoffed looking down at the bed. “If you know I wanted to die, then you should be able to figure out, I don’t want to see you. I want you to leave. I want you to- to be happy. And forget. Like everyone else did.” 

He kept his face tilted down, but Goro saw Akira’s hands come into his line of sight. He grabbed Goro’s chin on both sides and made him look up at him. “I am not everyone else.” 

Goro could almost feel himself laughing. God, that was such a true statement. Akira was not like anyone else. He never had been. He never would be. If anything, Akira was as rare as the flowers Ren had been giving him, and he amounted to a common weed. The chuckle got stuck in his throat, but his lips still trembled. The noise eventually escaped, letting the wavering sound of his voice fill the room. A strangled chuckle accompanied by tears rolling down his cheeks. 

Akira let go of his face to hug him again and it felt awful. His body wanted to pull in on itself to escape. It was nostalgic, and terrifying. He wanted to stay and he wanted to get up and run all at the same time. Being held by Akira was nothing like being held like Ren. 

He felt he could die in Ren’s arms, he felt like he was dying in Akira’s. 

“Please, let me go…” Goro pressed his forehead to Akira’s shoulder. “I- really don’t want to see you anymore.” 

“I want to see you. I want you to come home,” Akira told him again. 

“I hate you,” Goro wrapped his arms around him. “I hate everything about you. I hate everything about us.” 

“That doesn’t change how I feel.” 

Goro didn’t respond to him again. His hands balled up into fist against Akira’s back and he clenched his teeth together. He didn’t move or say anything until his tears finally stopped. When he finally did pull back from Akira, the other was smiling. 

He didn’t return it. 

“I have to go home,” Goro muttered. “I feel exhausted…” 

“That makes sense,” Akira rubbed the side of his neck, “I did do a lot of damage in here today.” 

“What?” Goro shook his head. 

“Ah! But this should help!” Akira reached into his cardigan and produced a thermos. Goro wasn’t sure how. On trips to Mementos and Sae’s palace he watched Akira, as Joker, pull a number of items out of pockets that never seemed to have a bottom. But that wasn’t the Metaverse. “Here! Your favorite blend.” 

“You brought that with you? All the way from Tokyo?” He reached out and took it from Akira, “How old is this coffee?” 

Goro unscrewed the thermos lid. The moment the top came off a familiar scent hit his nose. The smell of the Leblanc’s coffee sent a chill down his spine. He wanted to protest against it, but his body ran on muscle memory and raised the drink to his lips. The moment it hit his tongue he could hardly stop. It felt like the coffee was the first thing he’d had to consume in months. And it was still warm, it even still tasted fresh. After the last drop hit his tongue he lowered the thermos and sighed. Akira was watching him smiling. 

“Feel better?” 

He nodded. Strangely, he did. He felt as if the coffee had restored something he’d run down a long time ago. Leblanc’s blends were always refreshing… But this was a feeling that didn’t belong. At least not in this world. 

“Good,” Akira took the empty container and stored it away again. “I guess I can’t get you to leave today. But I’ll be back tomorrow.” 

“Akira… I don’t think you should come back at all.” 

“Stop that,” the former thief frowned, “I’m going to get you out of here. We’re going to go home together.” Akira stopped and looked down at Goro’s shirt. He reached over and plucked the flower from where it was pinned. 

“Hey!” 

 _“Oh!”_ Goro looked around the room. He just heard another voice. _“Whatever you just did, Joker, I can see Crow again.”_  

“Sakura-san?” Goro stood up from the bed, “Again? I’m hearing her again?” He looked down at Akira. The other boy was crushing the flower in his palm. 

“I see, all the plants… I should have pulled it off sooner.” Akira got to his feet, “Goro, who gave you that flower?” 

“W-who?” He hesitated, “Amaiyma-kun.” 

“And who is he?” 

“He’s…” Goro shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. I wish you hadn’t done that. It was a gift.” 

 _“It was clever.”_ Once again, Futaba’s voice rang out, clear as day, despite only Akira and Goro being present. 

“If he gives you one tomorrow, don’t wear it. It makes you harder to find.” 

Goro wasn’t sure what that meant. And certainly, he wasn’t going to throw away any of Ren’s gifts. He was already going to have to explain what happened to the camellia. Akira reached out and took his hand before leading him out of the hotel. 

The way back to his apartment was less rushed. There were far less people on the street, but Akira still seemed to be avoiding anyone the met. Yet he was also taking his time. Every now and again Goro could faintly hear the sound of Futaba’s voice telling Akira to ‘hurry up’ and ‘visiting hours are almost over’. He wondered if she was on speaker on his phone. But why? Was she listening to them the entire time? 

“We’re back,” Akira stood outside of Goro’s apartment door. He was still holding onto his hand. “I’ll be here tomorrow okay? Just… Stay at home until I come for you.” 

“Akira,” Goro shook his head, “I really don’t think you should come back. I- I’m happy here. You have to move on…” 

“Never.” Akira answered defiantly. 

“Typical,” Goro let go of his hand and opened his door, “You always do things the way you want to, regardless of consequence.” He swung open his door and stopped. Behind him he heard Futaba’s voice yelling at Akira about danger. 

Sitting on the couch in Goro’s apartment was Ren. Patiently waiting for him to come home. The florist stood up after they opened the door and smiled. 

“There you are… I figured if I waited here, you’d return.” 

“Ren!” Goro started to move toward him, but then stopped, realizing Akira was behind him. He turned to face the other boy; Akira was standing, his fist clenched at his sides. “Ren- I can explain-” 

“No, you don’t need to.” Ren shrugged. “He has my face… I know who he is.” 

“So,” Akira reached out and put a hand on Goro’s shoulder pulling him back out of the door. He put himself between the brunet and his doppelganger, “You must be ‘Master Ren’? Right?” 

“And you’re the one pretending to be me to get around town… That’s not very nice. Stealing someone’s identity.” 

“I had it first!” 

“Akira!” Goro grabbed his arm, “Akira, just leave. Let me talk to him… You can come back tomorrow, just leave!” 

“No,” Ren shook his head. “He can’t come back tomorrow.” 

“You can’t keep me out of here, you should know that by now.” 

“If you won’t stop coming back,” Ren produced a white lilac in the palm of his hand, “Then I’ll have to make sure you’re gone forever.” 

The florist dropped the flower on the ground between them, and it immediately sprang up into the image of the little boy that played ball on the corner; however, his body was covered with a black and red mosaic twisting itself around his legs and his face was replaced with a giant version of the white blossom he’d grown from. 

“Oh? You want to play again, mister?” The boys voice echoed around the room. Goro backed up, grabbing the railing of the balcony in shock, but Akira drew out a dagger. The same one he carried into the Metaverse. “Okay! I won’t go easy on you this time! Hee Ho!” 

Goro and Akira watched as the boy’s body erupted into a wave of black and red sludge revealing a Shadow underneath. It appeared to be a type of Jack Frost, though it wore a silver helmet with two horn-like extensions curing back off the top, and a black bodysuit with an ‘A’ covering his torso, and a pointed silver cape. 

“Hee Ho! Here we go!” The little heroic Jack Frost raised its fist and the room grew cold. Shards of ice and bits of snow swirled around in a circle before a Bufudyne spell struck at Akira. The teenager jumped back to avoid the attack, easily backflipping over the balcony and landing in the parking lot below. 

“Oh- it’s that rowdy young man from the park…” The old woman was downstairs waiting. Just like the boy, her body gave way to a monster. An all black body and a green and gold cape, with her white hair sticking straight up on both sides. 

“Oracle! I could use Panther in here!” 

 _“Panther, Mona, and Queen on there way! Just hold on!”_  

“Akira!” Goro leaned over the balcony and screamed at the other teenager. The Frost Ace vaulted over him and landed next to the Skadi to face off against Akira. Goro had no idea what was going on, or what to do but he knew he had to get down to Akira and help him. He turned to run, only to nearly collide with Ren. 

“R-ren!” Goro looked down at the parking lot to watch Skadi attempt an Evil Smile on Akira only to have it fail. He looked back to the florist. “Move! I have to help him!” 

Ren reached out to grab his shoulders and hold him in place, “You can’t. You don’t want to.” 

“Don’t tell me what I want!” Goro pushed him away. “He needs back up! He needs-” 

“What about what you need?” Ren held fast to him, taking a step closer. “I thought you wanted to forget him? To forget that bond? Isn’t this the best way to erase him?” 

“I don’t want him to die!” Goro screamed in Ren’s face. He tried to push the other off, but Ren didn’t budge. If anything his grip became tighter the more he struggled. And the longer he struggled the more he felt his head was starting to hurt again. His chest grew tight and his heart raced and his breathing became labored. Goro clenched his eyes shut as Ren wrapped his arms around him, trying to calm him down. 

“Just relax… Don’t think about him and it will be over soon.” 

“Akira!” Goro felt his eyes stinging. He was crying again, but he couldn’t escape Ren’s embrace. 

 _“Something’s going on! Crow’s heart rate is up!”_  

“How soon till the other’s get here?!” 

The brunet started to kick at Ren, “Get off of me! Let me go! You can’t do this!” 

“I’m doing it for you.” Ren was so calm despite the chaos going on around them. It was getting harder to breathe. Goro could hear a motorcycle approaching in the distance and the sounds of ice colliding with fire. Akira was shouting out orders and someone was screaming out attacks. He opened his eyes and saw none of that however. He only saw fire, a brilliant blue fire and a pair of golden eyes watching him. 

“I’m doing this for you.” 

“Goro! Someone get up there and stop that thing!” 

Goro closed his eyes again as the fire reached up over his head. It was too much. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. All he could do was let it consume him. 

It seemed the fires of hell caught up with him after all.

  


Goro had no nightmares this time. But he awoke to the sound of gunshots. More than two. 

He jolted up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. His heart racing and his chest tight. He put his hands over his face for a moment trying to let his eyes adjust to the room he was in. When he pulled them back he froze in horror, for a moment seeing ivs in his veins and wires attached to the ends of his fingers. But just as soon as he saw them, they were gone. They blurred out of his vision and perception leaving him settled in Ren’s bed. 

He kicked off the covers and stumbled to his feet as he explored the apartment. 

Ren didn’t appear to be home. Goro could see from the window that the sky was dark, despite the sun being high overhead. He turned on the television and was greeted with static. The entire apartment felt hot and the air moist and hard to breathe. 

This really was hell, wasn’t it? 

Had he died on the ship like he wanted? 

What was Akira doing in hell? 

“Akira… I have to find him.” He made his way to the door and tried to push it open. But it barely moved. Goro pushed and pushed, until he could take a peek outside. He could see vines growing up over the side of the walls, and the doors and the stairs. It appeared the entire entry way was covered. He let go and backed up. 

Outside he heard gunshots again, this time followed by what sounded like an explosion. The apartment even shook a little. 

The feeling made him tremble. 

He had to get outside. 

This time he inspected the window. It looked like he could open it up and slide out. He could see the rooftop of the green house just below. Slowly he pushed the window open and lifted himself to slide one leg out. The air outside the apartment was far worse. It made his clothing stick to his skin, and caused him to start sweating right away. 

Despite how dark it was, it felt like the sunlight was obscuring parts of his vision, making it hard to judge how far down the greenhouse roof was. Still he swung his other leg out and took a deep breath before letting himself drop. 

It was only a vaguely terrible idea. 

He hit the top the glass, and it cracked instantly. The panel of the roof gave way and he fell the rest of the way to greenhouse floor, with broken glass, landing on a few bushes and flowers. His legs hurt, and his back end wasn’t fairing much better, but at least he was ‘out’. 

Goro groaned as he forced himself to stand and inspect himself for broken glass. Down here he could hear the commotion much more clearly. The glass walls of the green house shook as a lightning bolt streaked across the sky and struck down not far away. He wagered it was just a street or two over. 

He turned toward the door and started to leave, but stopped as he put his hand on the door knob. He felt something again. Accompanied by that faint beeping. A heartbeat. Steadily going, calling out from the back of the greenhouse. Goro looked over his shoulder as another blast of lightning lit up the sky. He turned from the door and made his way back to the end of the room. 

He found himself standing over the Forget-me-not once again. The poor plant was down to just two blossoms now, and all of its leaves had turned brown and shriveled. He put his hand over the box and lifted the lid so he could reach out and touch one of the two remaining blooms. 

“Careful,” Ren called to him from behind. “It’s still dying.” Goro was slow to turn and look at him, almost afraid of what he would see. However, Ren still looked the same, no fire, no golden smile. Just his gold eyes. “Can you put the lid back on. I want it to die in peace.” 

“Why?” Goro held the box in his hands. 

“It has a right to. And it’s my job to see to it… Its struggled up from a tiny wilting plant, into a beautiful blossom. But it’s dying. It was always meant to die, never meant to be strong, but it did its best.” Ren walked forward and took the covering from him before putting it back over the plant. “I’m just trying to make that transition peaceful. I think it deserves for this to be as painless as possible after how far it’s come… And I’m sure the plant agrees.” 

“…” Goro watched him cover the flowers. “Where is this place?” 

“This place?” Ren looked at him confused. “It’s my greenhouse.” 

“No,” Goro shook his head, “Where am I? Where am I _really_?” 

Ren smiled at him. A week ago the action made him feel comfortable, now it made his stomach churn. Was Ren even a person? Were all his actions calculated steps? The smiles, the conversations, the gifts,  the meals, his happiness… How much of it was genuine? 

“We’re nowhere,” Ren continued to smile. “This place is here for you to be at peace. To be happy.” 

“And you?” 

“I’m here to make you happy… It’s what you wanted, but never got.” Ren reached out to him, and at first Goro flinched away. Yet Ren’s hand still found it’s mark, reaching up to touch the side of his forehead, hidden just behind his hair. He pressed two fingers down and all of Goro’s nerves burned. The sensation was familiar, the same as in his nightmare. 

“Your bond might have reached completion, but you never enjoyed it. You never experienced happiness… What was I to do? I was born from a bond that you regretted. I just wanted to see you happy, to give you something good before the nightmare ended.” 

“You were born from a bond?” Goro pushed the hand away, now rubbing the spot himself. He couldn’t feel it, but he knew that was where he had been shot. “You’re not a Shadow then.” 

“No, though I made this place, and I do command the Shadows here, I am not one of them.” 

“Why… Why his face then? If you were so desperate to make me forget the bad times?” 

“Would you have accepted anyone else?” Ren tilted his head. 

No. Goro knew the answer was no. No one else but Akira would do. 

Behind Ren, a white lily shot up from the ground. It twisted up until it burst into the shape of a Titana, her wings and green dress fluttering about frantically. 

“Again!” She wailed. “They destroyed Oberon again!” 

“Why are you here then?” He turned to her angry. “You’ve left your post…. Now there is no one between Joker and the greenhouse.” 

“But my Oberon!” 

Ren didn’t listen. He waved his hand over her and the Shadow wailed again until she was reduced back to a flower. 

“I have to go. Joker is coming,” He turned back to Goro. “I’m sorry… I didn’t want you to feel anymore pain. But he seems to have ruined that.” 

The brunet laughed, “He’s always had a knack for ruining plans…” 

Goro reached forward to grab Ren’s wrist, “Don’t. Just- you don’t have to fight him.” 

“He will never leave. It won’t be long now…” he glanced back at the wilting Forget-me-not, “I just have to hold him off.” 

“Ren! Wait!” Goro tried to pull on him again, but the young man burst into blaze of blue fire in his hands. Goro watched as the last bit of flames faded from his fingers. 

He turned and ran for the greenhouse door, only to find he couldn’t open it. He banged on the door trying to knock it off its hinges, but he had no luck. Suddenly the entire building shook. The fight felt as if it was taking place right outside the flower shop. He just had to get out of the greenhouse. 

He backed up form the door and looked up at the hole in the roof he’d fallen through. It was his only way out. Goro started knocking plants off the tables lining the room so he could stack them into a crude ladder. Every step of the way he felt the building shake and could hear cries from Phantom Thieves shouting off attacks and orders as they battled with Ren. 

Even after all the tables were stacked together he could barely reach the top of the roof. The tables under him shook under his balance as with each blow dealt outside. He knew they wouldn’t support him much longer. 

“If this is like the Metaverse… then I can make this jump! I just have to try it!” He bent his knees to crouch low for a moment before springing himself upward. His hand found the edge of the broken roof, and the sharp ends of the glass found their way into his palms. 

Goro let out a scream, but continued to hang on, pulling himself up with a bit less grace than usual. Still he was out, and his hands were covered in blood. He slid down the glass to the end of the building and dropped off. 

Goro ran around Ren’s shop to the end of the alley to observe the street. He was right. The Phantom Thieves were facing off against Ren- at least he assumed it was Ren. The creature had long black hair and six white wings flapping in tandem to keep him afloat. His eyes were  covered with a gold cloth, twisting upward through his hair into the shape of horns. His body was painted black and white from the neck down, arms and legs weighed down by chains made of thorns that hooked and dug into his skin, causing red to bloom from the puncture points and stain the white parts of its body. The cloth on his face had closed eyes painted on it. Underneath one each of his cheeks two more sets of eyes were painted- these were open, making six total. In his left hand he carried a sword made of light and in his right a lotus flower. 

“Ren-!” 

 _“Joker! Get ready!”_ Goro could hear Oracle shouting a warning as Ren’s wings carried him up into the air, a shining light forming at the tip of its blade. “ _It’s getting ready to do that massive Almighty attack again!”_  

Joker motioned for everyone to get their guard up, yet despite readying themselves they all looked exhausted. How long had they been fighting there way here? How much damage was that attack going to do? 

“Ren!” Goro pushed himself forward from the alley calling out the creature. “Ren! Stop- STOP!” Ren pointed his sword down at Joker and the light shot forward. 

“Goro!” Akira shouted as he realized the other was running into the way of the attack. The thieves’ leader disregarded his own orders to stay on the defensive and sprinted after him, red gloves reaching out to grab Goro’s arm and pull him back. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled them both down. 

However, the attack never came. As quickly as he had launched it, Ren used his sword to deflect his own spell. Sending the Divine Retribution spell hurtling over the two, the rest of the team, and causing it to land in the street behind them. 

In its place a giant crater formed. 

“Man, I am glad that was not us!” 

 _“Skull, not now!”_ Oracle admonished him. 

Goro lifted his head and looked around. He found himself still Akira’s arms, the other boy now wearing his proper thief costume. 

“Are you okay?” he asked him as he pushed up his mask. 

“I- I think so…” Joker rose to his feet helping Goro stand as well. Behind him Ren lowered himself to the ground and waited. 

“You’re hands are covered in blood!” Akira turned his palms over looking at them in distress. 

“Well… What else is new?” Goro looked up at him, “At least it’s not yours.” 

Akira groaned, but still pulled him forward into a hug. 

“So,” behind Joker, Panther spoke up, “Does this mean the mission was a success?” 

 _“Technically, we’re still in here… And Crow is still trapped.”_ Oracle’s voice echoed around the area as Prometheus lowered itself down to the street and opened up to put her down. “So, no.” 

“Why are you all here?” Goro looked over the group of thieves. “Akira I can understand, foolish as that is… But all of you?” 

“What do you mean why are we here!?” Skull balked. “We came to save your stupid butt. Isn’t that obvious?” 

“I think Crow is referring to the question of why we would want to save him…” Queen crossed her arms. “Though, I admit, isn’t it obvious why we would come?” 

“Because of you were able to succeed against Shido,” Mona jumped up waving, “Even if you also were kind of the one that put us in a hard place to begin with…” 

“What Mona is trying to say is, you already proved you were deserving a second chance.” This time Noir answered. “And considering everything that happened, we owed it to you. We never tried to understand you until it was too late… Maybe if we had all tried harder things would have been different.” 

“We all agreed, if there was a chance to pull you out of this, then we should give it a shot,” Fox nodded. “Though Joker did tell us that he would try it on his own if we did not want to.” 

“And we couldn’t let this idiot die trying to save you, not after all we went through to begin with.” Oracle grinned. 

“…I still don’t know where here is?” Goro questioned her. 

“It’s your heart, dummy,” Oracle continued. “Well, you’re also in a hospital room. But this whole fake town popped up around you... I was poking around with Mom’s old research equipment and found Metaverse readings in your hospital. So, I told Joker, and he insisted we investigate.” 

“I’m in the hospital? How?” Goro turned to Akira. 

“Something kept you alive.” He was still fussing with Goro’s bloody hands. “After the Metaverse collapsed, your body turned up in the basement of the Diet Building. You were unconscious, but alive. No one really thought you would wake up… The bullet that shot you grazed your skull, they said you should have bleed to death for how long you were down there. But one thing was certain, you were dying, just slowly.” 

Goro reached up and touched his forehead, thinking about the two fingers he felt pressed to his temple in his dream. He turned to look over at Ren. 

He was still floating, silently waiting and watching. 

“You kept me alive.” 

“That is correct.” Ren’s voice sounded softer. It no longer reminded him of Akira’s. His tone echoed around in his head, and he recognized it as the one from his nightmare, his last moment of consciousness on the ship. The voice in the fire. 

“You made all of this, just so when I finally died-” 

“- You would be happy. It’s what you wished. It’s what he wished. The understanding of your hearts was for the other to have peace. He got his in life, I was granting you yours in death.” 

“But he doesn’t have to die!” Akira retorted, frustrated with Ren. “You don’t have to keep him here, he can live and be happy!” 

“Can he?” 

“He’s right, Akira…” Goro muttered. “I don’t think I can live and be happy.” Behind him he heard the others question his conclusion. Goro turned to them, “It’s… It’s comforting to see you all here. To hear that you’re willing to give me another chance. But, I wanted to die. I wanted this to be over.” 

“Goro-” 

“Listen to me,” he cut Akira off. “Even if I go back with you, the world is still the same. The things I’ve done are still the same. Do you really think I’m going to be able to ‘live’? Do really think I’m going to be allowed to be happy?” 

“We could try! You won’t know if you stay in here and just die!” 

“Joker is right.” Skull jointed in the shouting, “You’re just going to give up!” 

“I gave up a long time ago.” Goro sighed. “You all are here for nothing. There’s no one to save.” 

There was a long moment of silence as Goro’s words settled over them. He didn’t want to be saved. But Akira kept persisting. 

“Goro, please…” He still held his hand. Despite the fact that he was standing right in front of him, his voice sounded as far away and broken as it did when the floodgate came down between them. “You don’t deserve this.” 

“I know what I deserve, Akira… And it’s not you.” 

“I-” Akira opened his mouth and suddenly Ren’s sword came over Goro’s shoulder. The tip was pointed at Akira, forcing him back. 

“The Master of the palace has spoken,” Ren said hovering over Goro. “He does not wish to leave with you.”

  
“It’s not his choice to make,” Akira glared up at Ren.  
  
“Isn’t it?” Ren questioned him, “I thought the Phantom Thieves only acted under a unanimous vote? My Master has voted no. You are resigned to inaction.”  
  
Akira opened his mouth to retort but Goro raised his hand to hold his attention. “He’s right. I’m still a Phantom Thief, am I not? And I vote no. I vote not to save me.” 

Akira didn’t move. He stood still, staring at Goro for what seemed like forever. Even Goro didn’t take his eyes off of him. He watched as the thieves came up one by one and tried to move him, urging him to depart. Trying to tell him at this point, it was no use. The decision had been made.  To not make this harder than it needed to be. But he shook them off and stood his ground. 

So one by one, they retreated without him. 

Until it was just Akira, Goro, and Ren standing and waiting. 

“How long will keep this up?” 

“Until it’s over.” Akira said, still not taking his eyes off of him. 

“You’ve always been a fool. Thinking you’re ideals are more important than others. Just leave me. I already sacrificed everything for you.” 

“That’s why I won’t leave,” Akira looked at the sword for a moment before taking a step forward. When Ren didn’t attack, he continued to inch closer until he could wrap his arms around the brunet. “I’ll stand here until it’s over.” 

“Stupid…” Goro wrapped his arms back around him. “Why can’t you just do what’s expected for once?” 

Goro leaned forward and put his forehead against Akira’s shoulder. He could smell coffee on his clothes and he was sure the blood on his hands was staining into the back of his coat. He felt Akira running his hands through his hair. Under his breath, he heard the other teenager whispering sweet nothings to him. Commenting on how the stars in the fake town lined up to the fake constellations he stuck up around his room. 

Telling him how much he would miss him. And that right here with him would always be his home. The place he belonged. With the person that loved him. 

Goro closed his eyes, realizing they were starting to mist over. Behind him Ren started to burn away. A blue flame eating his body, reducing him to nothing. 

“Are you happy, Master?” 

Goro could only nod. Trying to speak caused his lips to tremble and his chest to tighten. 

The beeping sounded far away. Slow and steady. 

“Then, I’ve fulfilled my purpose…” 

Goro felt one of Akria’s arms stretch out to grab something. The last bit of blue ember floating and shining in the air. 

His breath sounded loud, but shallow as a second noise went off in his head. A warning, a distress signal. But Akira still held tight and so did he. 

The city buildings and streets melted away, not in a trembling earthquake, but in a quiet haze, showing white tiles and walls, and bright lights and cords and cables and machines. 

He could hear Akira crying, but he wasn’t saying his name. And he didn’t feel pain. He didn’t feel sorrow. 

He felt so happy wrapped up in Akira’s arms he wondered if this was a dream. 

If it was, he wanted to never wake up from it.

  


Akira sat over the bed listening to the machines around him indicate the patient they were hooked up to was failing. 

The doctors rushed into the room and pushed him back. They obscured his view of the boy on the bed. No one asked him to leave. They were too focused on the task at hand. 

Akira looked down at his hand, still clenched. He un-curled his fingers to reveal a Forget-me-not. Perfectly pressed and preserved. 

He pressed it to his lips and smiled. 

It felt strange, but could swear he still felt Goro’s arms around him.

 

  
  
  
  


  
**Flowers and Meanings:** ****  
Wisteria: Welcoming to a new home/expressing affection  
Pear Blossom: Lasting Friendship  
Clovenip (linaria bipartite): Please notice my feelings  
Pansy: Lover’s (loving) thoughts  
Lavender: Devotion  
Ericaceae (Heather): Solitude  
Moonflower/Night Blooming Cereus: Dreaming of Love  
Rue: Regret and Sorrow  
Daffodil: New Beginnings  
Lotus: Far from the one he loves/purity/rebirth  
Red Spider Lily: Never to meet again/memories Lost  
Rosemary: Remembrance  
Gardenia: Secret Love  
Red Rose: True Love  
Camellia (Red): In Love/Perishing with grace  
White Lilac: Youthful innocence/memories  
Forget-me-not: True Love

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have been advised by the many crying individuals I've encountered on discord and in reviews to put an apology here.
> 
> I am sorry for your broken feels. This is who I am. Please forgive me.


End file.
